Real Housewives of New Jersey

Forget the dude on Homeland. The true prisoners of war last night were fans of The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Held captive by the Garden State's battling harpies, viewers were subjected to a barrage of screaming matches, accusations and insults as the ladies wrapped up the second half of their season-ending reunion. What did we learn from this experience? Other than the fact that Andy Cohen deserves a Purple Heart for bravery in this line of doodie? Tons...

Caroline Manzo is awesome.

Teresa Giudice is not awesome. Nor is she sane-adjacent anymore.

Any nitwit who dares to say "bring it" to Caroline deserves to have it brought.

Trashing one's cast mates is a terrible ingredient for a cookbook.

Dina Manzo needs to come back, make up with Caroline and sic that creepy hairless cat on Teresa.

Melissa Gorga's husband doesn't get it twice a day. But he'd like to.

If you record a dance single and no one listens to it, it can still make an awful sound.

Nobody speaks with her face better than Kathy Wakile and her big crazy eyes.

A giant cannoli filled with other, smaller cannolis needs to be a food group.

"Cuzzint," "huzbint," "un-ducated" and "yous" are not actually words.

Waving one's hands frantically often makes up for not making sense.

Having "a lot of friends who are gay" does not make it OK to use the F-word.

Skipping the reunion was the smartest thing Jacqueline Laurita has ever done. Ever.

Danielle who?

So what about you? What were your favorite life lessons from this season of RHONJ?

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