Survivor: Nicaragua

If the family visits on last night's Survivor didn't wreck you, you may actually be dead inside.

Rounding up the loved ones of our remaining players, Jeff reunited Chase, Sash and Fabio with their moms, Dan with his son, Jane and her daughter, and Holly with her husband. Tears, hugs, a guttural meltdown by Dan. It was all there, like a Hallmark commercial with really smelly people and the vague odor of avarice. And while some may say "please, they've only been away from home for a month," imagine how out-of-whack their emotions must be after 30 days of rice and dealing with NaOnka. We're kind of shocked none of them pulled a "the Red Hots were for my mommy" like that mess on Top Chef: Just Desserts.

Of course, once the warm-fuzzy stuff was over and we got back to the game, several key players returned to acting like they were raised by amoral wolves. Chase, Sash and Holly made their reservations in Hell by betraying unsuspecting all Jane, who figured out their agenda, went all feral, doused the camp's fire and then unleashed her wrath at tribal council. By revealing the elimination strategy of her duplicitous cronies, Jane alerted Dan and Fabio to the cretins conspiring against them, while giving the jury a better idea of how low their former comrades will go. Honestly, nobody's family should be very proud of how things went down...including Mama Probst! Did you see Jeff's impersonation of her at tribal council? Yeah, he's probably better off staying in Nicaragua for as long as possible. 

So did the family visits get you, too? And did the backstabbing that followed all-but-erase those emotional moments? Share, children!

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