Hart Hanson

Bones creator Hart Hanson launched his TV career in his native Canada, where he worked on Great White North dramas like Neon Rider and Avonlea. He eventually made his way across the border to write for U.S. shows such as Judging Amy and Joan of Arcadia and then created the Fox hit Bones. Last year he began work on a spinoff based on The Locator books by Richard Greener. The Finder, starring Geoff Stults as Walter, an eccentric man with a keen "finder power" ability, premieres January 12. Hanson answered our showrunner survey in the hopes that you'll seek out The Finder

TV Guide Magazine: My Thursday night is already jam-packed. Why should I add The Finder to my watch list?

Hart Hanson: You should cut out the jam. Type II diabetes is one of the fastest growing diseases in America and jam is mostly sugar. Cut out the jam and watch The Finder. The life you save may be your own.

TV Guide Magazine: What happens if we don't watch your show?

Hanson: My enemies will gloat. You'd hate my enemies. This is your chance to strike back at Hollywood. Especially that smug, self-satisfied, conceited, rich, entitled ... you know exactly who I mean. Let's take that bastard down together!

TV Guide Magazine: Give us an algorithm for your show.

Hanson:  The Finder = Magnum P.I. minus The Moustache plus The Name of the Rose minus The Inquisition divided by I Spy

TV Guide Magazine: What's the best thing anyone has said or written about your show?

Hanson: "Finder" is a perfect anagram for "Friend."

TV Guide Magazine: What's the worst thing that anyone has said?

Hanson: "I hate Hart Hanson and everything he does so I expect this to tank worse than [Insert network-show-that-failed-immediately]." I'm not going to rub salt in that wound — not because I'm a decent guy but because there's always a chance that The Finder could tank worse than [network-show-that-failed-immediately].

TV Guide Magazine: The Finder, of course, is being promoted as coming from the producers who brought you Bones. Which past credit should they avoid touting at all costs?

Hanson: My epic 22-minute song "Galleon," which turns out to be the chords from Bob Dylan's "Buckets of Rain" slowed down to a turgid funeral march and played REALLY LOUD through a wah-wah pedal stuck in the open position.

TV Guide Magazine: How are you using your power of TV for good?

Hanson: I'm Canadian. I can't answer that question. I can only say, "Hey, it could be worse."

TV Guide Magazine: What makes your cast the best on TV?

Hanson: Geoff Stults' chest hair, Michael Clarke Duncan's smile, Maddie Hasson's look of teenaged exasperation, and the way Mercedes Masohn aims her gun — that plus the combined height of my cast (four people) is taller than the combined height of The Walking Dead, including all the zombies (783 people).

TV Guide Magazine: What's an alternate title for your show?

Hanson: The Scarlet Pimpernel

TV Guide Magazine: Showrunner battles are all the rage these days. Tweak your Thursday night competition.

Hanson: I'm afraid to tweak my showrunner competition. Shonda Rhimes (Grey's Anatomy) could strangle me with one of her scarves. J.J. Abrams (Person of Interest) is friends with Steven Spielberg. My sons love The Office.

TV Guide Magazine: Let's scare the network. Tell us an idea that didn't make it out of the writers' room.

Hanson: Let's find Osama Bin Laden! What? Oh.

TV Guide Magazine: What would you use your "finder power" to locate?

Hanson: My dewy-eyed optimism and the missing key to my gas cap.

TV Guide Magazine: American Idol is your lead-in. Imagine doing a crossover episode with them; what would that look like?

Hanson: Everyone would lose their voices. And even Walter would not be able to find them. Ever. Oh, rats, I guess he'd have to find those voices because American Idol is a great lead in.

TV Guide Magazine: Of your cast members, who would fare best on Celebrity Apprentice?

Hanson: Probably Maddie Hasson. She's 16 years old but both Geoff and Michael Clarke Duncan are intimidated by her. She can make any grown man feel like a pimply 16-year-old boy.

TV Guide Magazine: Fill this in: If you like [blank], you'll love The Finder.

Hanson: Smiling and waving.

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