Ian Somerhalder

The Vampire Diaries' Damon (Ian Somerhalder) may play second fiddle to his brother Stefan (Paul Wesley) when it comes to many things, especially love, but he's second to none when it comes to one-liners.

Some of our favorites from the first two seasons:

Season 1, Episode 2, "Night of the Comet"
Back when the Salvatores were still a mystery and Stefan worried that his new crush Elena would find out that he's a vampire, Damon asks, "Were you worried, Stefan? Isn't that why you play your little game 'I'm a high school human'?"

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Season 1, Episode 4, "Family Ties"
Damon may have been born in the 19th century, but he's up-to-date on what's popular. During one of their fights over Elena, Damon says, "Girls just can't resist my good looks, my style and my charm, my unflinching ability to listen to Taylor Swift."

Season 1, Episode 11, "Bloodlines"
After Damon puts Elena in his car so that they can road-trip to Atlanta, she wakes up and pleads with him to turn around. "You were so much more fun when you were asleep," he says.

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Season 1, Episode 10, "The Turning Point"
Damon tries to convince Stefan about the power of brotherhood: "But we're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!"

Season 2, Episode 1, "The Return"
As Stefan nurses his stab wound with his shirt open, Damon sensitively points out, "Cover up, Fabio. You got a crazy ex on the loose."

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Season 2, Episode 2, "Brave New World"
When Stefan rejects his brother's offer to feed on animal blood (instead of humans), Damon ponders, "Are you worried that one day all the forest animals will band together and fight back? After all, they talk."

Season 2, Episode 4, "Memory Lane"
At their first introduction, friendly Mason tells Damon about the great things he's heard about him. Damon's not-so-friendly response: "That's weird, because I'm a d--k."

What's your favorite Damon Salvatore one-liner?