President Barack Obama
Our top moments of the week:
15. You Can't Handle the Truth Award: After Dustin's past in the gay porn industry is revealed on The Real World, his girlfriend reacts in a completely predictable and healthy way: by shoving her tongue down the throat of her female roommate, Nany, in front of everyone. Either this is her weird way of showing Dustin her acceptance, or someone really wants to get into the movie-making business.
14. Best Blast from the Past: Good Morning America's Robin Roberts throws Rob Lowe one heck of a curveball when, in the middle of their interview, she plays an old video from the '80s of Lowe with Kathie Lee Gifford. As soon as the clip starts rolling, Lowe's jaw drops and the shocked expression on his face is too hilarious for words. He tells Roberts he's freaked out because it reminds him of his sons, but maybe he was just terrified by Kathie Lee?
13. Most Deadly Macho Display: When Cameron becomes frustrated that everyone treats him like the mom, the woman of the family on Modern Family, he tries to show off his manliness by throwing a football. Unfortunately, he throws a little too hard and completely misses the group of kids waiting for the ball, as the pigskin takes out an older man riding a bicycle. Cameron freaks out, and his feminine side emerges, when he runs to the man's aid. "Hands!" Mitchell admonishes, as Cameron fixes his flailing limbs at his side. Honestly, we expected a better throw from the starting center of his college football team.
12. Most Heartbreaking Triumph: Ever since Travis found his grandmother's engagement ring on Cougar Town, helicopter-mom Jules has been plotting to stop him from proposing to girlfriend Kirsten. But by a strange turn of events, Jules and Grayson actually witness Travis popping the question on the beach. Jules, who has a bum knee making her powerless to stop it, whispers, "Please say yes," but Kirsten runs away. Later, Jules consoles her teary, heartbroken son and tells him she loves him. And Travis? You're wrong. Grayson did not "make it weird" by telling Travis that he loves him too. It was sweet and unexpected.
11. Most Welcome Return: That fan favorite character that the How I Met Your Mother creators teased was returning? Not human. (Hey, you can't blame us for assuming so.) Instead, it was the cockamouse, the flying half-cockroach, half-mouse creature that first haunted the gang in the seventh episode of the series. Five seasons later, the cockamouse has reproduced in Zoey's beloved Arcadian Hotel and proceeds to scare her out of the rundown room in which she and Ted were going to spend the night. We just want to thank it for ending their yawn-inducing fight. Come back any time, cockamouse!
10. Worst Case of Mistaken Identity: Arguably The Voice's most discerning coach, Adam Levine (usually) knows how to sell himself when he hears something he likes. However, he makes a unique play for Tim Mahoney when he admits that he thought Tim was a chick. "I need a woman for my team, and sadly, you have a penis, which is cool." Um, time to put the focus back on what's in the throat, Adam, and not in the pants.
9. Sweetest Revenge: Knowing not all were satisfied with the long-awaited release of his long-form birth certificate, President Barack Obama decides to release his birth video at the White House Correspondents Dinner — where Donald Trump is in the house — as further proof of his citizenship. Cue the opening scene of The Lion King of baby Simba entering the world. "I want to make clear to the Fox News table that that was a joke," Obama deadpans. "That was not my real birth video. That was a children's cartoon. Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original long-form version." Take that, birthers!
8. Best Advice: While flying back to New York after solving the murder of her training officer, Mike Royce, on Castle, Beckett reads the rest of the letter Royce wrote to her that was found on his body. "It's clear that you and Castle have something real," he wrote. "And you're fighting it. But trust me, putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life and wonder, 'if only.'" Judging by the way Beckett glances at a dozed-off Castle, she won't be wondering "if only" for much longer. C'mon, they've each dressed up as Gene Simmons for Halloween. If that's not meant to be, then we don't know what is.
7. Best Blow-Up: Because Peter wasn't in the doghouse enough for bedding Alicia's best friend, Kalinda, years prior, he decides to play the "Will" card on The Good Wife and accuses her of sleeping with her boss to make her share the blame for their split. Since that never happened, Alicia replies simply that she'll let him know when she decides whether she's divorcing him, and challenges him to say something. "Say something that will make me fall in love with you again!" That ship has so already sailed.
6. Most Threatening: After weeks of mounting hostility on Celebrity Apprentice, NeNe Leakes finally unloads on Star Jones before the task is even underway when she feels Star pushed her into being project manager. "I will take you down while the rest of these girls will look at you be scared," NeNe barks so menacingly that the former View co-host eventually walks away to stand on the other side of their team. "I'm the type of girl who's not scared of you. You pressed my last button, Miss Star Jones, and I will do you when the rest of these girls won't. ... You talked a good game. Now bring your street game. Now where's Barbara Walters?" Probably loving this as much as we are.
5. Worst Death We Kinda Saw Coming: We knew that major deaths were coming on The Vampire Diaries, and once Jenna was turned into a vampire, things weren't looking so good for her. But we aren't prepared for the moment when Klaus stakes her. As Elena tells her aunt to suppress the human emotions, Jenna takes her last breaths. Jenna turns dark and hollow as Elena cries out, losing the most innocent victim of them all -- certainly the only semblance of a guardian she had left.
4. Most Killer Impression: Osama bin Laden's killing, naturally, lends itself to a glut of late-night material, but our favorite is Jimmy Fallon's dead-on Late Night impression of Donald Trump taking credit for the al-Qaeda leader's assassination. Obviously, President Obama was so intimidated by Trump, he chose to interrupt Celebrity Apprentice for the announcement ("Where were you during The Paul Reiser Show, Mr. President?"). "So basically, I killed Osama bin Laden," he deduces. "So congratulations to me, Donald Trump."
3. Hardest Goodbye: On the Justified season finale, Margo Martindale's Mags Bennett serves up her last slice of deadly "apple pie" — to herself. Raylan helps Mags convince a vengeance-seeking Loretta that killing her won't bring back her father, who Mags murdered in the season premiere. Instead, Raylan and Mags call an official truce and seal it with a toast of Mags' famous moonshine. Although it was a fitting bookend to the season premiere, we really hate to say goodbye to this Emmy-worthy villain.
2. Best Surprise: As Callie and Arizona prepare to walk down the aisle for a wedding that almost doesn't happen on Grey's Anatomy — her mother is not OK with her marrying a woman and the priest is otherwise detained — Meredith and Derek decide that their futile attempts to get pregnant would be better served by adopting a baby. Post-It marriages don't count as legal documents, though, so they head to City Hall for simple nuptials that are perfectly juxtaposed with Callie and Arizona's gorgeous outdoor wedding, officiated by Bailey.
1. Greatest News: In a stirring speech, President Barack Obama delivered the news that everyone had been waiting for since Sept. 11, 2001: Osama bin Laden has been killed. "His demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity," Obama said. "The cause of securing our country is not complete. But tonight, we are once again reminded that America can do whatever we set our mind to. That is the story of our history, whether it's the pursuit of prosperity for our people or the struggle for equality for all our citizens, our commitment to stand up for our values abroad, and our sacrifices to make the world a safer place."
What were your top moments this week?