The Bachelorette, Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
TV isn't perfect; sometimes it shows us mistakes. A Top Chef hopeful decided to make — gasp! — dessert. Jesse pulled the trigger on Breaking Bad. Kathy Griffin put the moves on Christopher Meloni. The Bachelorette's Kasey got a tattoo. And England's Rob Green — well, he knows what he did. He'll be rewatching it in his vuvuzela-scored nightmares for years to come. Welcome to Top Moments: Our Favorite Mistakes Edition.
11. Saddest Death: Treme's Creighton Bernette (John Goodman) appears to take his own life by jumping off a ferry boat. Nevertheless, his last day is a happy one: He kisses his family goodbye, eats at his favorite restaurants and smokes a cigarette for the first time in years. Creighton's death is as poetic as his life was, as the waters that broke his beloved New Orleans are his undoing as well.
10. Best Non-Verbal Response: After a Newsweek critic said Sean Hayes was too gay to play straight on Broadway's Promises, Promises, the Will & Grace alum sticks it to the article's author during his Tonys hosting gig on Sunday by initiating a super-sloppy kiss with his co-star Kristin Chenoweth. We're talking 10 solid, televised seconds of tongue-wrestling.
9. Best Crazy: On Part 2 of the Real Housewives of New York City reunion on Monday, host (and Bravo programming veep) Andy Cohen is pulled into the fray when Kelly Bensimon claims that the network forced her to go on a Caribbean getaway with her co-stars. Cohen denies that they did any such thing, but Bensimon sticks to her guns. "Andy. It's true though. But thank you; I appreciate that," she says.
8. Best Reveal: In the final moments of True Blood's third-season premiere, we learn that the skanky V addicts who kidnapped Bill are actually also... werewolves? "I have to warn you," Bill says to the assembled canines. "I've fed," which means he's now strong enough now to take on this season's new villains.
7. Best Audition: America's Got Talent host Nick Cannon thinks he recognizes contestant Alice Tan Ridley. Sure, she's a well-known subway performer in New York City, but she's also the mother of Oscar-nominated actress Gabourey Sidibe (Precious). Ridley wows the judges with her rendition of Etta James' "At Last," putting her through to the next round.
6. Worst Prep Time: We've learned two things after watching six seasons of Top Chef (besides the meaning of sous-vide): a) never make dessert and b) never use pre-made, store-bought ingredients. Obviously, cheftestant John Somerville's choice to make a maple syrup dessert using frozen puff pastry is culinary suicide. (Yes, he packed his knives and went.)
5. Best Finale: On Breaking Bad's third-season finale, suspecting that Gus wants them dead, Walt and Jesse come up with a desperate plan to ensure their job security. In the final minutes of the hour, a teary-eyed Jesse shoots Gale, a lab assistant who was being groomed to replace Walt.
4. Best 90 Seconds: In the final moments of the seventh game of the NBA Championship, the Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics keep the score tight — at one point, Boston narrows the lead to just 2 points — trading a series of three-point baskets that make this a game about beating the clock. In the end, the double zeroes come when the Lakers are up 83-79, a credit not to Kobe Bryant's shooting (he went 6-for-24 for the night), but his ability to pass to his teammates like Ron Artest, who many think deserved the series MVP award.
3. Best Rehearsal: On the season premiere of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, Griffin gets a very A-list gig: a guest spot on NBC's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit playing a lesbian activist. One problem: She needs someone to help her run her lines in a very important kissing scene. SVU stud Christopher Meloni obliges, but politely dodges her attempts to — it must be said — sexually assault him on the set of SVU. "Let's just do one take bottomless," she says, lunging open-mouthed at Meloni, who rolls his eyes and wonders who's guest-starring next week.
2. Creepiest Gesture: On The Bachelorette, Kasey wants to distinguish himself from his competition, so he gets a tattoo to show Ali how devoted to her he is. Because a Bachelorette romance is all about permanence. The good news: It doesn't say Ali's name or anything, but let's hope he can lay a Superman logo over that "love shield" if need be.
1. Biggest Blunder: English goalkeeper Rob Green pulls a Bill Buckner during his team's opening World Cup match against the United States when he lets a routine shot by Clint Dempsey slip through his hands, allowing the Americans to score. The blunder leveled the match — and the final score — at 1-1. But we're all winners because we got to see David Beckham's stinkeye at Green's gaffe.