Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert
Not to be outdone by Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are planning their own rallies — against one another.
The late-night funnymen announced Thursday plans to host opposing rallies — Stewart's "Rally to Restore Sanity" and Colbert's "March to Keep Fear Alive" — in Washington, D.C. on Oct. 30.
Appealing to the 70 to 80 percent of Americans who aren't extremists and don't have time to protest because they "have s--- to do," Stewart said his gathering will spread the timeless message of "Take It Down a Notch for America."
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"We will gather on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. — a Million Moderate March — where we take to the streets to send a message to our leaders, and our national media, that says, 'We are here! We're only here though until 6, because we have a sitter,'" Stewart said. "A clarion call for rationality!"
Beck hosted a "Restoring Honor" rally at the Mall on Aug. 28 — the 47th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech.
The significance of Oct. 30? The Daily Show is taping in D.C. that week.
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And if you're too busy to create some signage for the occasion, don't worry. Stewart will supply signs with such slogans as "I Disagree With You But I'm Pretty Sure You're Not Hitler" and "Legalize Pot."
Meanwhile, Colbert will host a rebuttal rally at the same location, calling for "all freedom-loving patriots" to challenge the "dark, optimistic forces" of The Daily Show.
"Damn your reasonableness!" Colbert said. "Now is not the time to take it down a notch. Now is the time for all good men to freak out for freedom!"
Watch the announcement below: