American Idol: Steven Tyler's Eight Craziest Quotes (So Far)
It may have seemed a little odd initially when new American Idol judge Steven Tyler was given his very own special "bleep sign" for his first time at the official judges table. After all, the top 24 performances were pre-taped days before they actually aired. And Idol plans to employ a seven-second delay for live performances. But, as the 62-year-old rocker has been so keen to point out in every step of the process thus far, he has an unusual flair for the English language when it comes to the search for America's next superstar. Before the show goes live next week and there are only seven seconds to control Tyler's outburst, it seems like an opportune time to look back at Tyler's best expressions so far, and the real meanings behind them.
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"You look like you could be one of my ... friends."
Translation: After getting so much flak for telling 16-year-old Victoria Huggins her skirt had "just the right amount showing," Tyler was probably told to keep his affinity for the ladies on the down low. Instead of telling a singer she could be his next groupie, he now has to say friend.
"Looking at you, I'm closing my eyes and it's a work of art, a thing of beauty... And I will finish that off with a double helping of ooh-yeah."
Translation: Again, he's really not supposed to talk about the contestants' looks. But this individual apparently leaves something to be desired in the vocal department, so this is his best attempt to make his critique sound like it's about the music when it's really about looks.
Idol's Chris Medina feels like he's been "swept up by a tornado"
"Slap that baby on the ass and call me Christmas!"
Translation: A compliment in which he really wants to curse without getting in trouble, so Tyler decided to put the foul language in between two words that make everyone happy ("baby" and "Christmas").
"I've never heard anybody squeeze that song, but you squeezed it so slow it sounded like Vanilla Fudge singing 'Eleanor Rigby.'"
Translation: Tyler is obviously trying to avoid associating himself with "pacing" as Randy Jackson is so closely tied to "pitchy. " This is another way of saying "why did it take you so long to bust out that tune?"
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"From my melodic sensibility, it was really delicious."
Translation: The food analogies didn't work for Ellen DeGeneres, but Steven thinks they will be more palatable to viewers when paired with a musical term.
"I can tell you're on the money when the vein in your forehead pops."
Translation: Now that he's on TV regularly, Tyler has become much more conscious of his appearance. When he couldn't help but notice this singer's physical imperfection, he tried to turn into a positive.
"You went up into the way-out-osphere, you went to squeak-land. That's insane."
Translation: Tyler would have preferred this individual go to "sing-land," but they still (semi) hit the high notes and he feels obligated to throw him or her a bone, and an out-of-this-world compliment.
"Well hellfire, save matches, f--- a duck and see what hatches!"
Translation: Tyler is caught off-guard and the first thing that comes to his mind is... an expression that sounds like it's straight out of 1981. At least it's something he can lay claim to early in his Idol career?