It's been almost six years since Star Jones shed 160 pounds, but her former frame still weighs on her mind.
"I'm still 300 pounds in my head some days," Jones says on Wednesday's Oprah Winfrey Show.
Jones, who once weighed 307 pounds, underwent gastric bypass surgery in August 2003, but denied it until 2007 despite widespread speculation. She kept the procedure a secret because she was "ashamed" she had to resort to surgery to control her weight.
"The doctor said, 'If you don't make changes, you will die.' I had no choice," she says. "When you hear people say, 'Oh, you took the easy way out,' I would have longed for an easy way. It was not an easy way."
The surgery was "the hardest struggle of my whole entire life, and I still struggle."
Not coming clean about the gastric bypass was also a factor in her firing from The View in 2007. Although "hurt and upset initially," Jones is now nothing but apologetic to her former colleagues.
"I'm so sorry that I placed a burden on my colleagues," she says. "I never asked them to lie."