Spartacus: Vengeance, Manu Bennett
Friday's Spartacus: Vengeance episode is titled "Monsters," and there's no word more appropriate to describe the Romans who bring atrocities upon their enemies... and each other.
In the episode, Ilithyia has returned from being Gannicus-napped and now feels fiercely protective of her unborn child. Lucretia offers Seppia a knife so she can wreak vengeance on Glaber for killing her brother Seppius. But as she strikes, Ilithyia takes the knife and stabs her instead, thus saving her ungrateful hubby's life. We did not see that one coming! Meanwhile, Ashur has figured out where Spartacus and Co. are hiding out, and Glaber's so grateful for the intel, he'll grant Ashur his freedom, the former Batiatus ludus and Lucretia after they defeat Spartacus. (Um, not sure what say Glaber has over Lucretia, but OK.) Varinius makes it to the rebels' hideout by Vesuvius first, but gets captured and then killed. As Spartacus' crew exits by a secret passage, they're attacked by more Romans and flee up the mountain. Glaber vows to wait them out, setting us up for what will be a gloriously gory finale next week.
From Game of Thrones to Spartacus: TV's unsexiest sex scenes
Let's get to those "Ew!" moments, which are only an appetizer for next week's unsettling feast!
The Blood - The painful highlights:
1. As the Egyptian swoops at Oenomaus, our old Doctore friend blocks his face with his hand. Unfortunately, that means we see the dagger impale both his hand and his eye behind it. Double argh!
2. It's not every day you can kill someone by fireball, but as the rebel's camp is under attack from flying projectiles courtesy of Glaber, Crixus steers prisoner Varinius into harm's way. Varinius never had a chance, and when his body falls, we see his head has sort of a half-face on it, like the Terminator, but with charred, pulpy flesh revealed instead of machinery. He won't be back.
3. Ilithyia is a woman scorned several times over, but we were still freaked out by the ferocity with which she stabbed Seppia and then slit her throat. And thanks to editing magic, we got treated to the slow-mo spray of blood that spread fan-like across our screens as the knife parted Seppia's tender throat until it gaped open like a second mouth.
Meet Ellen Hollman, Spartacus' savage, mangy Saxa
The Bodies - Usually when the violence escalates, the sex scenes start to dwindle, but trust Ilithyia and Glaber -- the self-described "monsters" -- to really bring the sick and wrong late in the season. As Seppia's freshly discarded corpse floats in the bathing pool, the blood-spattered husband and wife are overcome with lust and just can't help getting it on, propped up by a nearby wall. At least it's good they're not cheating on each other anymore?
Spartacus: Vengeance airs Fridays at 10/9c on Starz.
Did you expect Seppia's violent demise at Ilithyia's hands? Are you even remotely prepared for the fiery finale?