[Warning: Her descriptions are fairly graphic.]
Sinead O'Connor is "in desperate need of a very sweet sex-starved man" and she wants everyone to know it.
The Irish singer has taken to her blog and Twitter to snare a potential suitor and to lament the current lack of romance in her life.
"My sh---uation sexually/affectionately speaking is so dire that inanimate objects are starting to look good as are inappropriate and/or unavailable men and/or inappropriate and/or unavailable fruits and vegetables. I tell you yams are looking like the winners," she writes. "Needless to say what I do for a living makes it hard for me to find men that only want me cuz they like my (legendary) arse. Yet I am in the peak of my sexual prime and way too lovely to be living like a nun. and it's VERY depressing."
When can you next catch Sinead O'Connor on TV, online or on demand? Add her to your Watchlist and you'll know for sure
O'Connor then lists requirements for her future beau and an email address for applicants. Among the conditions: He can't be younger than 44 (her age); can't be named Brian or Nigel; can't use hair gel, hair dryers or hair dye; and must have stubble.
"Stubble is a non-negotiable must. Any removal of stubble would be upsetting for me," she says. "Must be very 'snuggly'. Not just wham-bam."
After fielding complaints, O'Connor lifted her ban on Brians and Nigels, encouraging them to apply, along with lesbians, who will "also be very much considered." As for her sexual preferences, the singer details rather explicitly that she would perform anal sex.
Watch videos of Sinead O'Connor
O'Connor further amended her age requirements — to the 38 to 55 range — after penning an open letter to Irish TV host Ryan Tubridy. "Any man wishing to make a case for himself must be between 38 and 55 (that's cus Ryan is 38) un attached, and aware that he WILL be dumped at the drop of a hat if either Ryan, Adam Clayton, or Robert Downey Junior stake a claim," she warns.
"I want to 'make lurve,'" O'Connor adds. "Sweet and filthy LURVE. With sweet and filthy men. If u don't have both sweetness and filth don't apply. I want 'sweet lurve' with music on. Say it again Sinead .. Like u really mean it this time.. I WANT TO BE LURVED STUPID BY SWEET FILTHY MEN WITH MUSIC ON. Ok? We clear? Ahem... Good. Now I wanna know what music you'd lurve me with."