Saturday Night Live

Channing Tatum eased any jitters he may have been suffering since he was hosting SNL for the first time by tapping into his past as a stripper. "Ground rules for tonight are: One, no touching. I can touch you but you cannot touch me. Tips are appreciated," he told the crowd, noting that he was only hosting to pay his way through nursing school (a likely story). It also helped that Tatum found a few familiar faces — former customers — in the audience. When one former customer couldn't remember, he showed off some of his signature moves, and unbuttoned his shirt, to jog the man's memory, naturally:

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Tatum played a stripper again (maybe a little too well) in a sketch about a male strip club named Bongo's, home to male strippers with names like "Chief Bumps with Gusto" and Nick Erswet (it makes sense when you say it quickly):

In the first new show since Lana Del Rey's critically panned performances on SNL — during which critics said she moved awkwardly across the stage and noticeably lacked energy — Kristen Wiig played the rising singer during "Weekend Update" to address the backlash.  "Based on the public's response, I must have instead clubbed a baby seal while singing the Taliban national anthem," she said, before apologizing for not living up to previous SNL performers like the Baha Men and Shaggy. However, Del Rey defended herself as well. "I'm stiff, distant and weak. It's my thing":

In another sketch, Tatum played New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who's so nervous before Super Bowl XLVI that he's drinking at a Ruby Tuesday in Indianapolis. But then he encounters a woman who "looks like every bank teller in the world, just squished together." As you can imagine, that can't be good: