Kelly Carlson, Conan O'Brien
This week on TV featured lots of tricky relationships. Exes Jules and Bobby found their way back into the sack on Cougar Town, Life Unexpected's Lux found a family, Jersey Shore's Sammi and Ronnie eluded love's fragile bond, and Conan O'Brien played out his very public split with NBC through mordant comedy. Welcome to Top Moments: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Edition.
10. Ex-iest Sex: On Cougar Town, Jules' frustrating relationship with her dunderheaded former husband, Bobby, finally starts to make sense. He's charming — charming enough to get Jules in bed for what, sadly, turns out to be the last time. Jules just doesn't like him that way anymore.
9. Raise a Glass Award: Host Ricky Gervais' onstage drinking sets a boozy tone for the Golden Globes, and he only added to it with zingers like this introduction: "I like a drink as much as the next man," he says, "unless the next man is Mel Gibson." Cue a sheepish-looking Gibson.
8. Best Debut: On Life Unexpected, Cate and Baze, the high school sweethearts who have not spoken since doing the deed 15 years prior, reunite when Baze calls in to Cate's radio show to tell her, on air, that the daughter they gave up for adoption has come a-lookin'. "What, were you one of those girls who got knocked up on prom night?" her radio co-host jokes — again, on air. "More like Winter Formal," Baze says.
7. Trashiest Date: Patti Stanger is called a Millionaire Matchmaker for a reason, but when one of her clients blatantly disregards her advice and takes his date to "haul junk" to prove she's not a gold-digger, things do not go well. He attempts to recover with a fancy dinner, but the two cease speaking.
6. Most Arresting Audition: After being dressed down by the American Idol judges for his lawnmower-inspired version of "Amazing Grace," Jarrod Norrell gets feisty in an off-sceen scuffle with security and ends up being hauled out of the convention center in handcuffs. Considering a singer that was nearly as talentless got through to Hollywood simply because he accidentally split his pants, the Law & Order treatment was one of the very few interesting things to happen in the paint-by-numbers audition episode.
5. Worst Dream Sequence: In a deathbed dream sequence on Heroes, Hiro stands trial for allegedly using his power for personal gain. Adam Monroe (David Anders) is the prosecutor, Hiro's father (George Takei) serves as the judge, and the whole thing takes place in Charlie's diner. Hiro ultimately pleads guilty and heads toward the bright light, only to be stopped for a redeeming samurai battle with Adam. He wins the battle and his mother appears to him to heal his brain tumor. Then... OK, we have no idea what's happening anymore and we're ashamed of ourselves for even watching.
4. Worst Reunion: Call us naive, but we hoped that Jersey Shore's Sammi and Ronnie were in it for the long haul. But their lower-case situation hits a snag when evil producers air footage during the reunion special of Sammi lying in bed and admitting to the upper-case Situation that she was flirting with a cop earlier at the club. Whether it was what Sammi said, or the fact she was having the intimate conversation with The Sitch, Ronnie becomes visibly agitated. Sammi says that if Ronnie wants to throw what they have out over that conversation, then they're done. Ronnie doesn't disagree.
3. Most Shocking Departure: True, it's Nip/Tuck's last season, so we should expect that things are going to start coming to a definitive end. But it was still upsetting to see the always-troubled Kimber take a fatal plunge into the ocean.
2. Most Shocking Return: Learning that 24's Renee Walker (Annie Wersching) had a breakdown between seasons was surprising. But not as surprising as the news that she was once undercover with the Russian mob. Jack's former paramour is convincing as a murderous moll, as we see when she helps her former contact, Ziya, elude his court-mandated monitoring bracelet by sawing his thumb off.
1. Priciest Joke: On his third-to-last night as the host of NBC's Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien expresses his outrage with his employer by hitting the fourth-place network where it hurts the most: in the pocketbook. He introduces what he calls the most expensive comedy bit ever: a $1.5 million Bugatti Veyron dressed up like a mouse (giant felt ears and whiskers) with the Rolling Stones' original recording of "Satisfaction" playing in the background. Taste the royalty payments, NBC!