Top Moments: Idol Flirts with Disaster, Jersey Shore Pops a Squat
Our top moments this week:
11. Worst Undercover Job: On Undercover Boss, Sheldon Yellen, CEO of disaster recovery company Belfor, does some immediate disaster recovery himself after hearing lowly employee Jen's sob story of how she never received a raise with her promotion last year. Holding back tears, he blows his cover on the spot and promises her more dough. (Would it have killed you to wait until the end of the episode, Sheldon?) Bonus points to Jen for her deft backpedaling in her critiques of Belfor.
10. Cruelest Bet: On Conan, the redheaded host settles his New England Patriots-New York Jets bet with La Bamba. Since his beloved Pats lost, O'Brien has to don a "rare collector's item" blue Jets hat, which means La Bamba doesn't have to wear nothing but a Pats hat — or so he thought. Pointing out that he is La Bamba's boss, Coco forces him to wear a monstrous Pats sculpture and strip down to nothing. Only La Bamba could win the bet and still lose.
9. Happiest Ending: On the season (and most likely series) finale of Life Unexpected, the action jumps ahead two years to Lux's high school graduation, where viewers finally get the relationship — and family — they wanted in the first place: Cate and Baze are back together. Now if only we could see where they all go from here. Are you listening, CW?
8. Best Declaration of War: The war between Haddie and her parents escalates this week on Parenthood. She no longer has a cell phone, a computer or even a door, but Haddie continues to see Alex against her parents' wishes. Plus: She wants to move in with her grandparents, which isn't the solution to any problem. Just ask Aunt Sarah.
7. Best Way to Deal with the In-Laws: On House, in an attempt to be the doting boyfriend, the doc begrudgingly agrees to attend Cuddy's birthday dinner with her less-than-pleasant mother, Arlene (Candice Bergen). As Arlene lays into Cuddy with some harsh words about the perceptions of single motherhood, she oddly dozes off right in the middle of dinner. Turns out House gave Cuddy the best birthday present of all: He slipped her mouthy mother some sedatives.
6. We'll Drink to That Award: Betty White, who turned 89 years young on Monday, shares some of her favorite pastimes on The Late Show with David Letterman. She plays with animals, obviously. "And vodka's kind of a hobby," she deadpans, as Dave whips out two glasses of Grey Goose on the rocks. Cheers!
5. Sweetest Last Words: After agonizing over the contents of a newly discovered voicemail from his late father on How I Met Your Mother, Marshall — who was initially satisfied with thinking that his dad's last words to him were to rent Crocodile Dundee III (which is actually Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles) — finally listens to the message. It turns out to be a pocket dial, prompting Marshall to vent his frustration and heartache. Then a voice pipes through the static-filled message: "I love you," his dad says. (OK, so technically, his dad's final words were about his foot fungus, but we, like the gang, will pretend we didn't hear that part.)
4. Stay Classy Award: We know the gals of Jersey Shore aren't graduates of the Emily Post school of etiquette, but a modicum of decorum would be nice. That way we can avoid witnessing such foul acts as J-Woww taking a bathroom break behind the bar of a nightclub. At least she sprayed some water from the bar's fountain gun so it wouldn't smell.
3. Most Compromising Position: On Modern Family, Haley, Alex and Luke decide to surprise their parents with breakfast in bed for their anniversary. Only they're the ones who get the surprise as they walk in on Phil and Claire in flagrante delicto. "What were they doing?" Luke asks. "Whatever it was, it looked like dad was winning." Was that why it was so "zesty," Phil?
2. Creepiest Come-On: Steven Tyler (mostly) impresses American Idol fans his first day on the job, except for his creepy come-ons. Yes, it's one thing to check out the buxom twentysomething with cutout stars on her boobs, but it's quite another to tell a 16-year-old she has "just the right amount" of leg showing. This is the search for America's next superstar, not for Aerosmith's next groupie.
1. Best Fight Over Nothing: We're still not sure what exactly Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes were fighting about on Real Housewives of Atlanta (calling NeNe an intern? accusing Kim of treating her assistant like a slave?), but none of that really matters. The explosive bus brawl proves to be the latest must-watch chapter in their roller-coaster ride of a frenmity.
What were your top moments?