Megan Boone and James Spader
Our top moments of the week:
14. Worst Name-Dropping: Country diva Juliette exerts her power over reality star Layla by switching sets and stealing her duet with boyfriend Will on Nashville. In return, Layla anonymously calls TMZ and reveals that it was Juliette who broke up the marriage of one of the country's most well-known couples. At least this will make good material for a song?
13. Worst Missed Connection: Yes, everyone knows that Simon Cowell loves to be mean. But the acerbic judge accidentally takes it too far on The X Factor after judge Paulina Rubio tells contestant Jeff Gutt that she wants to more passion in his performance and she wants him to "show me blood" the next time. "You mean you want him to cut himself?" Cowell then asks, aka what Demi Lovato has admitted she used to do to herself in the past. Cowell appears to realize the connection and changes the wording to "stab yourself." Simon says ... step away from the microphone, Cowell.
12. Best-Kept Secret: Hoping that Diane will loosen up after she "gets some" on Trophy Wife, Kate sets her up with fellow Type A Russ (guest star Dennis Haysbert)... except he and Diane have already met! Turns out that Diane and Russ have been secretly dating for two years!
11. Worst Bombshell: Just when Shay returns to Firehouse 51 and it looks like things will start getting back to normal on Chicago Fire, State Fire Marshal's Office consultant Gail McLeod stops by and offers up some devastating news. Because of Chief Boden's actions to get his job back, and to try to stop McLeod in the process, Firehouse 51 will be closed after the team has one final shift together. Good timing, Shay!
10. Anatomy of a Cheater Award: What's the secret to passing a drug test? A fake penis! During his appearance on Chelsea Lately, Mike Tyson explains how he used the pseudo-anatomy filled with uncontaminated urine to dupe drug testers during his boxing heyday. "You just make noise, and normally if you're a guy and you pull it out in front of [the drug tester], they're like, 'Whoa, whoa [turns away], and then you do it," he says, adding that the fake penis is connected to a jock strap. Naturally, Chelsea wants to know what color it is. "I don't know," he replies. Tan, brown, cream-colored!"
9. Best Undercover Job: Life's a beach for Patrick Jane on The Mentalist. Two years after killing Red John, Jane is on an island, speaking shoddy Spanish, wearing man-sarongs and dancing the night away with fellow expat Kim — until Abbott comes along with an offer he can't refuse: join the FBI in exchange for immunity. Abbott signs off on Jane's napkin list of demands, but once they return stateside, Abbott says their napkin agreement has no standing, and Jane ought to accept his deal or he'll go to prison. And who will escort him to the detention center? One Agent Fischer, aka Kim!
8. Best Introduction: Barry Allen's arrival in Starling City isn't just the beginning of the Flash's origin story on Arrow, it's the start of a partnership as well. Diggle and Felicity must rely on a new ally to save Oliver. After being knocked out, Barry wakes up in the Foundry, where he sees Oliver dressed as the Arrow. Ollie won't be happy when he finds out that someone else knows his secret, but at least he'll be alive.
7. Angel of Death Award: It turns out that Heaven is a lot like high school. Since Metatron now realizes how lonely he is up there alone on Supernatural, he enacts a Regina George-like plan to populate Heaven with only the angels he likes. To do so, he enlists the angel possessing Sam, who we learn isn't who he claimed to be. He's actually Gadreel, who's spent the last million or so years locked in Heaven's darkest dungeon for letting the serpent into the Garden of Eden. Upon discovering this, Dean tells Sam the truth, but it's too late. Gadreel kills Kevin on Metatron's orders and informs Dean that "there is no more Sam," leaving Dean more alone than ever. But hey — at least he still has Crowley!
6. Most Awesome Remix: Move over, James Lipton! There's someone else in town to do dramatic readings of song lyrics on late-night shows. Jimmy Kimmel tasks Sherlock himself (and Internet king) Benedict Cumberbatch to recite the lyrics to R. Kelly's "Genius." The result is magic. Because how can you not swoon at lines like "Go to sleep/When we wake up/Imma hit that thing again" rendered in a sexy British monotone?
5. Biggest Betrayal: In one of the craziest Tribal Councils in Survivor's 27 seasons, the remaining six contestants come to a deadlock... twice. Knowing that he's on the chopping block, Hayden makes a power play to get a member of Tyson's alliance to flip. He succeeds with Ciera, who casts her vote for Monica instead of Hayden. After two tie votes and no one willing to change who they're voting for, the "safe" contestants are forced to draw rocks, per the show's rules. Tyson and Ciera are safe, while Katie is sent to Redemption Island. Something tells us it's going to be an awkward night back at camp!
4. Best Moves: Last year on The Mindy Project, Danny revealed that he could dance because his mom made him take lessons as a kid. But we didn't realize how well he's kept up with his studies! After he reveals that he is Mindy's Secret Santa and that — yay! — he doesn't believe in spending money on gifts, he performs a slick and awesome dance to one of Mindy's favorite songs, Aaliyah's "Try Again," to cheer Mindy up. Moves like Jagger? All we want for Christmas are moves like Castellano.
3. Best Name-Dropping: It's no secret that Marilyn, one of Peter's staffers, is pregnant on The Good Wife. But who's the daddy? Needless to say, when Marilyn tells Alicia's mom that she plans to name the baby boy "Peter," Eli does a panicked spit-take. Could it be? That is going to be one awk-ward baby shower.
2. Two Birds, One Stone Award: On The Walking Dead, comic book fans finally get to see The Governor's assault on the prison. Just like in the books, Lilly shoots him dead, but it's Michonne who doles out the initial blow, sending her Katana through his chest to save Rick's life. The prison has fallen and the group is scattered, but ding-dong, The Governor is dead!
1. Who's Your Daddy? Award: In the final moments of The Blacklist's mid-season finale, Liz finally asks Red the question on everyone's mind: "Are you my father?" His response: "No." Wait, what?! It's not the answer we're expecting and somehow raises at least three more questions: Who is her father? Is Red related to Liz in another way? And of course, is Red lying? We'd bow down to the Blacklist powers that be if we weren't so busy shaking our fists at them!
What were your top moments?