Hugh Laurie, Danny Gokey
What a week for thrills and chills: We shuddered through Dollhouse and Lie to Me — and recoiled in fear from a horrible, inhuman noise. But we recovered our courage watching real and imaginary people alike (and even a horse!) overcome incredible odds. It was enough to make an incurable optimist of anyone.
12. Run for Cover Award: Jon & Kate Plus 8's Kate Gosselin appears on Today as part of her Rehabilitate Jon's Image Tour and says her family will "weather this storm" the way families always weather storms — huddled in their basement, out of the public eye. No, just kidding: They'll work out their issues on Season 5 of their show, bowing on TLC later this month.
11. Most Nighmarish Scream: Danny Gokey's hellish caterwauling on American Idol makes us not like Aerosmith's "Dream On" anymore. Who thought Paula Abdul's live performance wouldn't be the scariest of the week? (Here's a fun mash-up for those lucky enough to have missed Gokey's shriek, which didn't keep him out of the Top 3.)
10. Best Sort-Of Compliment: Lil' Kim keeps her "bionic booty" in check for a restrained waltz on Dancing with the Stars, prompting Bruno Tonioli to quip, "You try to be a lady, but you're more comfortable being a tramp." The, um, kind words don't keep the bionic booty from getting booted.
9. Shining Guest Award: The meek agoraphobic who helps Paul Ballard breach the Dollhouse turns out to be Alpha, the rogue active who now wants Echo/Caroline for his own "engagement." How fitting that Firefly alum Alan Tudyk burns so brightly in the role.
8. Best Change: Sean Garrity, Rescue Me's walking punch line, finally gets a serious moment when he learns his back pain is caused by a tumor on his kidney and begins to weep uncontrollably outside his doctor's office. But don't worry: The writers work in a penis joke to remind you what show you're watching.
7. Worst Good News: Breaking Bad's Walter White finally gets some good news about his cancer, but only after sacrificing his ethics, honesty, and nearly his life to become the meth kingpin known as Heisenberg. He takes out his rage on a restroom towel dispenser — because it reflects a face he's come to despise.
6. Winner of the Thomas Harris Prize: Lie to Me delves into Silence of the Lambs/Red Dragon territory as Dr. Lightman tries to make a serial rapist named Andrew Jenkins reveal a copycat's identity. Rescue Me's Daniel Sunjata is coldly brilliant as Jenkins, but the most masterful moment comes when we learn the seemingly protective husband of Jenkins' last victim is the copycat — and married her to feel closer to his sickening hero. Tim Roth, who plays Lightman, nearly played Lecter, and it's fascinating to see him handle a story that would do the cannibal doctor's creator proud. (Read our Roth interview here.)
5. Best Painkiller: After Cuddy helps House detox from Vicodin so he can avoid electroshock therapy, the hallucination-plagued doctor tells her, "I always want to kiss you." Then they go at it like teenagers in the back of a Pinto.
4. Coolest Husband: Newlywed Izzie, suffering from inoperable cancer on Grey's Anatomy, lies in her hospital bed wearing a head scarf, embarrassed that she's lost her hair. Alex tells her she looks gorgeous bald, and slowly pushes the scarf back to kiss her. "My wife is hot," he says.
3. Best Bet: Mine that Bird overcomes 50-to-1 odds to win the Kentucky Derby. The favorite, Friesen Fire, comes in second-to-last in the 19-horse field. And if that wasn't exciting enough, no one got shot this year. What a sport.
2. Cleanest Ending: Scrubs signs off for its eighth and likely final season by walking J.D down a corridor filled with a myriad faces from the past, including his TCW (played by Amy Smart), Jill Tracy (Nicole Sullivan), and "big bro" (Tom Cavanagh). Capped by a glimpse at his possible future, the ending provides not only a look back but a possible look ahead.
1. Best Perspective: Bill Murray takes Michael J. Fox golfing during Adventures of an Incurable Optimist, Fox's study of hope during his fight with Parkinson's. They make more bad shots than good, but decide that's how life is. "If I could do everything, then I'd have no reason for hope," Fox says. "And there's something in the hope that's even more powerful than the realization of whatever the hope is for." Adds Murray: "Do the next right thing, as opposed to doing the next thing right. ... The optimism isn't necessarily about great results. It's that you're going to come back and try it again."
What were your Top Moments?