Kathy Griffin

Even with two Emmys, a voice gig in Shrek Forever After and the sixth season of her riotous reality show starting tonight at 9/8c on Bravo, Kathy Griffin insists she's still the redheaded stepchild of the A-list. This is why.

She'll pay for praise
"I'm thinking of taking out my own Emmy ad in the trades and doing a centerfold...granted, it will be very airbrushed," she promises.

Technology shuns her
"I'm too D-list to have my own [bleeping] iPhone app," says the woman who once dated Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak. "T-Pain has one!"

And so does the Twitterverse
"I can't even get into a Twitter war with Spencer Pratt. That's D-list. I have been trying to bait him...'cause you know he's on there all day long. Liz Taylor is in one with [Michael Jackson's dermatologist] Arnie Klein, and I can't even get Spencer."

She doesn't even spring for roses
Griffin gets to visit her idol Liza Minnelli in Episode 1, but don't expect a BFF-ship to blossom: "Like a schlub, I went to a corner deli and got her some red carnations. You can't even get a florist to put them in a vase!"

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