Michael Jackson, Brothers & Sisters
What a week for threesomes. Jimmy Fallon joined Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Kimmel in late night, Freckles returned to the Lost island, where Sawyer and Juliet have paired off, and The Bachelor fell in love with two women. Sort of.
11. Most-Delayed Kiss: After Eric is released from an immigration lockup on CSI: Miami, he teases a waiting Calleigh that he may have met someone special on the inside. "I'll bet his cooking isn't as good as mine," she says, and kisses him — seven seasons into the show and perhaps two seasons too late.
10. Scariest Model: Alongside the street preacher, gun-loving conspiracy theorist and a woman who can't leave home without her food-themed pens comes the biggest freak of the latest America's Next Top Model: Allison, who obsesses over blood and hemophilia.
Tyra: I used to get nosebleeds all the time as a kid.
Everyone watching at home: Whaaaaa?
9. Least Expected Cameo: Art Garfunkel makes a surprise cameo on Flight of the Conchords as the ex-boyfriend of a woman who makes her subsequent lovers dress up as the music legend during sex. "She calls it Garfunkling," Jemaine says of his lady's fetish. (Read our Q&A with Garfunkel about the experience.)
8. Slap-Heard-'Round-the-World Award: Dear 24's General Juma — We were willing to cut you some slack, seeing as all radicals believe in something. But POTUS-slapping? The gloves are off, buddy. Meet our friend Jack.
7. Grooviest Dilemma: Just as Lost's "Jim LaFleur" (né James "Sawyer" Ford) and Juliet accept their semi-permanent lot living among the 1970s-era Dharma Initiative, the Oceanic 6 crash the party. Will Kate's arrival harsh the mellow of Sawyer and Juliet's groovy kind of love?
6. Best Reason to Never Watch Promos: We know network teaser promos are supposed to lure viewers with titillating promises, but we draw the line at lying to do it. Sadly, Sunday's Brothers & Sisters — one of the show's finest episodes this season — will be best remembered as the one nobody died in, despite ABC's promise. And no, having Rob Lowe's character flat-line for 15 seconds doesn't count.
5. Best News Conference: Michael Jackson keeps it short, sweet, and weird as he announces he'll perform his final concerts in London this summer, then retire from performing. That's the MJ we know and feel extremely ambiguous about.
4. Best News: Just six minutes into his first Late Night episode, Jimmy Fallon finds a keeper of a routine in "Slow Jammin' the News," his slow-burn recap featuring The Roots, who are already the best band in late night. Why can't Brian Williams do the news like this?
3. Luckiest Number: With fan favorite Anoop left out of American Idol's Top 12, Simon makes an unprecedented announcement: "We're doing a Top 13." Music to our ears.
2. Least Decisive Dude: Bachelor Jason Mesnick elicits national fury (and gets 60 percent of TVGuide.com poll voters to dub him "a bastard") by giving Melissa the kiss-off on After the Final Rose, then announcing his plans to date second-place finisher Molly. Wait, maybe this really should be our number one — or no, number two. Whatever, we can always switch it later.
1. Best Kickoff to National Make-Fun-of-the-Bachelor Week: Jimmy Kimmel welcomes Mesnick to his show with the following good tidings: "I hope that you do get married and it works out beautifully, but I'm pretty confident that you won't."
What were your Top Moments?