Can Jersey Shore Survive Sobriety?
The gorillas and guidettes are back in Seaside to start filming the sixth season of Jersey Shore. But this summer things are about to change — possibly not for the better.
On Thursday, Deena, Vinny, Pauly D, Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie, J-Woww and The Situation moved into their Jersey Shore digs for another summer of beachside debauchery. As you might have noticed, there's a name missing from that list: Snooki, who is pregnant with her first child, decided not to live with her castmates in an effort to avoid the hot tub and alcohol, But Snooki isn't the only one staying sober this summer. Fresh out of rehab for a painkiller addiction, The Situation is also abstaining. (He reportedly even brought along a sober coach to stay with him and the rest of the gang during shooting. Buzzkill!)
Jersey Shore's Snooki Is Having a Baby Boy
While we're happy Mike is getting the help he needs and it's comforting to see Snooki respecting the responsibility of motherhood, we can't help but worry: What about the show? All the best moments on Jersey Shore generally take place when the housemates are one cup of Ron Ron Juice away from getting their stomach pumped. With two of the show's wildest partiers down for the count, can the rest of the housemates to keep up the drunken drama?
Maybe not. It seems the rest of the cast is being — gulp — respectful of their friends' sobriety. For their first big outing of the season, the gang hit up a bar, but according to TMZ, the entire cast stayed away from the sweet nectar in solidarity with their sober friends. It must have been a surreal moment for the typically wasted cast — especially considering bar was the same one where Snooki took that infamous punch to the face in Season 1.
So, is a sober Jersey Shore worth watching? Here are a few changes you should start preparing for now if this keeps up:
Snooki Is Moving Out of the Jersey Shore House
1. Much less seeing/hearing about Snooki's private parts: Snooki likes to wear her skimpiest dresses when she goes out. She also loves to dance — even if no one else is. There's been more than one instance on the series when Snooki's dress has ridden up during one of her intoxicated dance breaks, exposing a little too much of the pickle princess. Plus, now that Snooki's in what appears to be a happy and healthy relationship, we don't see a lot of "shoving a watermelon in a pinhole" analogies in her future. We also expect she doesn't make a habit of humping trees when sober (fingers crossed).
2. Much less fighting: Snooki and Deena accidentally fighting each other during a bar brawl. JWoww punching Mike in the face. Pretty much every conversation Ronnie and Sammi have ever had. These absurd blowups probably wouldn't have happened without the many hours of drinking that preceded them. Maybe this will be the season that the cast learns to work out their issues with words, not fists.
3. Much more respectable women being brought home: If one word is used most often to describe the (non-cast member) women of Jersey Shore, it's "grenade." (Consult our Jersey Shore Dictionary, if you must.) If Mike, Pauly D and Vinny aren't constantly wearing beer goggles, it's possible the men of the Shore house might actually engage in real conversations with (semi) sober women. Maybe they could even follow in Snooki's footsteps and find stable relationships. But where's the fun in that?
Perhaps that's the biggest question: Will viewers have fun watching a group of friends hang out on the Jersey Shore while respecting each other and themselves? Only the Season 6 premiere holds the answer. At least there's one thing sobriety will never stop: T-shirt tiiiiiiime!
Would you watch a sober Jersey Shore?