Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson says her tight bond with her late mother has made it especially painful to say goodbye.

"I was always a mama's baby," Hudson tells Essence in its June issue. "I'd go and sleep in her bed until I was 15 years old."

Hudson's mother, Darnell Donerson, along with Hudson's brother and nephew, were found dead in October. The singer's estranged brother-in-law, William Balfour, has been charged with three counts of murder. He has pleaded not guilty.

Hudson's fiancé, David Otunga, tells the magazine she waited until February to go back to work because she knew as she would face questions about her family.

"We don't talk about it," Otunga says. "In this time when things seem so uncertain for her, there is certainty in our bond. She doesn't have to worry about losing me. I'm always going to be right here."

Currently on tour with Robin Thicke, Hudson says she finds strength to carry on in her faith. "The thing that keeps me going is knowing that God is in control," she says. "It's like, if He placed me here, then I must be prepared."

Follow TVGuide.com on Twitter for more breaking news and scoop.