Hoarders

Beverly records everything! This week's episode of Hoarders (Monday, 9/8c, A&E) suggests that there is rarely a moment when the Towanda, Kan., woman's fleet of DVD burners aren't capturing multiple TV programs. Of course, these things pile up (and spill into the backyard) and there's more general disarray going on in her situation. But still, I relate to her.

VIDEO: Fire is not considered a fire hazard on Hoarders

She's just modern! Sometimes things on TV go away forever and you want to post them on your blog and then you can't. But if you had a giant collection like Beverly's, you could! Her grandson at one point sneers, "She has it set in her head that one day, somebody's going to pop up and be like, 'Hey, you got that episode of Phil Donahue from '82?'" But that is a reasonable request! I would actually love to watch an episode of Donahue from '82 right now.

Man hoards himself on Hoarders

I cannot fault an archivist for archiving. Beverly's house is a mess, but she just needs a few terabyte hard drives and a means to rip this stuff to digital files. I wish I could have been brought on to help Beverly with her clean-up. In the process, I would have helped myself to her stash.

VIDEO: Hoarders' Roy hoards cars, accomplishments

Watch Beverly's enviable problem: