Valentin Chmerkovskiy, Danica McKellar
Dancing with the Stars cut its first two (yes, two!) couples of the season. Did Billy Dee Williams overcome his 15? Plus: Get the voting details on the switch-up.
Guys, I'm back again! Liz is off doing her best Elaine dance somewhere. Just kidding. (Not really.) Ask her for specifics next week. I didn't watch the premiere last week, but I've since seen Billy Dee completely out-danced by those Stormtroopers, Amy out-dance people with two legs, and Meryl and Charlie kill it. You know I love me some Olympians! And I hear that Erin has been aces. See what happens when you put someone with quick wit and human emotions behind the mic?
Twist! There's a double elimination tonight, and the first couple could go at any time. You are cruel, TPTB, cruel. Tom and Erin will be telling all the couples where they stand throughout the night before all of the pairs dance.
Results Part 1
Drew and Cheryl are safe and will dance first.
Drew Carey and Cheryl Burke: jive
Am I the only one who thinks of Drew Lachey when I hear "Drew and Cheryl"? Mr. Carey has a lot to live up to. Drew's definitely the adorable dad of the season and is like a chubbier, less polished, less toothy version of Mr. Entertainer himself Donny Osmond. He's totally going for it, but there's not enough pop in his kicks and flicks. Len likes the content and wants him to work on his posture. Bruno calls him the "consummate stage animal." Carrie Ann says he has great spring in his step.
Results Part 2
Billy Dee and Emmy are safe, and Diana is not happy. I'm gonna need a GIF of that face ASAP, Internet. Meryl and Maks, and Danica and Val are also safe.
Danica McKellar and Val Chmerkovskiy: samba
Ugh. They're really gonna play up this Danica vs. Candace "rivalry," aren't they? Take a shot every time each couple mentions the other's name. Birthday boy Val wants to get a standing O, and Danica breaks down in rehearsals. This is not standing O-worthy. It's serviceable. The skill is there, but Danica is too tight and not dancing with the abandon you need for a samba. Plus, she's overselling the weird O face. I get the feeling she might be too hard on herself. What is with Val getting all tense overachievers (ahem, Elizabeth)? Bruno says she doesn't finish details. Carrie Ann says she dominated and was "flawless." Uh, were we watching the same dance? Len tells her to extend her legs, but calls the routine fantastic.
Billy Dee Williams and Emma Slater: tango
Billy wanted to cry after last week and feels defeated. Emma brings in Lindsay and Jenna to incorporate into the routine, presumably to boost his morale and to distract his lack of movement. Actually, compared to last week, this is... a little better since he can stay in hold. Bless his heart. Billy hits all the steps this time, but it's like watching a baby elephant learn to walk. And not in a good way. Let's hope they will take Emma off AARP duty next season. Carrie Ann says he handled the choreography well but he needs more content. Len says there wasn't enough attack but wants him to have fun. Bruno says he took the minimalist approach.
Meryl Davis and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: swing
Maks wants to throw Meryl, but he's worried because he's never done it before. It's kind of cute to see Maks work with a partner he respects and admires. He's a completely different animal. You can tell it's mutual and it's a no bullsh-- kind of partnership. All I can say is at least Meryl followed Billy and not the other way around. This is a workout and an acrobatic treat. Meryl is a natural and keeps up with Maks, but she does get sloppy here and there. And she's giving fantastic face, as per yoosh. "That swing had wings," Len says. Bruno says she lost timing a few times. Carrie Ann likes that Meryl has Maks working his butt off. Listen, guys, Queen Meryl can do no wrong.
Results Part 3
Amy and Derek, and Candace and Mark are safe. Diana and Henry have the lowest combined score and votes and are dunzo.
"I wish we could've done our dance," Diana says to Henry as they walk down. Like I said, cruel, TPTB, cruel! Tom grants them her wish and they perform their cha-cha. Diana is totally the drunk aunt at your wedding, amirite? They even toss in "the swim" for good measure. At least her dress was far more flattering this week.
Candace Cameron Bure and Mark Ballas: rumba
Welcome back to Dancing with the Stars Weekly magazine. Jeremy Miller, who dumped Candace for Danica back in the day, is in the house and wisely refuses to say if he's rooting for one over the other. This must be the most press he's gotten since Growing Pains: Return of the Seavers. Candace reiterates that she wants to keep things modest and references her Christian faith. She wants the rumba not to be sexual, but sensual rather. It is, and Candace has great body awareness and lines, but there's not enough flow and connection between her and Mark. And was it just me or did the routine seem super short? Carrie Ann thinks it was too similar to her contemporary. Len says it was too hard and aggressive, but says she did well. Bruno loves that she dances from her heart but agrees with Carrie Ann and Len.
Amy Purdy and Derek Hough: swing
Amy is worried about her legs flying off because there's a button that locks them in place. As Derek blogged, they put a bottle cap on the button while they dance. Yeah, I really don't know how Amy does it. This is awesome. She's quick and on time, which is incredible considering how fast the beat is and the fact that she's also staying in sync with Derek. What's awesome is that Derek could've packed it with a ton of acrobatic tricks like Meryl and Maks to mask/ease up on her legs, but instead opted for more content. He did, however, smartly confine the whole routine to one stage. Len says Amy's amazing. Bruno loves the touches of Charleston and jazz, and says she only missed an arm pass. Derek blames it on his jacket. Carrie Ann loves the synchronicity.
Results Part 4
Charlie and Sharna, and James and Peta are safe.
James Maslow and Peta Murgatroyd: salsa
James wants to wear less clothing, which is right up Peta's alley, obviously. They also have their eye on Cody so they're basically the male version of Danica vs. Candace. This is just a whole lotta eye candy (not that there's anything wrong with that), but it's a shame that Peta is such a limited choreographer. Everything is the same with her. Shimmy, spin, skin, shimmy, spin, skin and legs! James has a lot of potential, but I fear she will squander it to make him her personal Ken doll. Bruno says he came out of his shell. "Dayum!" Carrie Ann growls, as she inducts him into the Sexy Dancing with the Stars Hall of Fame. Len wants him to ease off the gas a little.
Charlie White and Sharna Burgess: tango
Breaking news! Charlie mentions his gal pal of five years for like the third time ever (she's 2006 Olympic ice dancing silver medalist Tanith Belbin) as Maks tries to turn him into a bad boy to seduce Sharna. The dark theme of the routine is hilarious juxtaposed with adorable Charlie. As much as I love Charlie's Blue Lagoon hair made of magic and puppies, it's sort of taking me out of the drama of the routine. He does get into character well and completely takes control of the dance. His frame is also solid and his footwork is sharp. Carrie says he looked like Baryshnikov. Go home, Carrie Ann, you're drunk. Len reprimands them for breaking hold. "I love you when you're bad," Bruno says.
NeNe Leakes and Tony Dovolani: jive
NeNe is learning the jive for her husband, Greg, who apparently has always wanted to do it with her. The jive definitely suits NeNe's personality, but her footwork leaves a lot to be desired. It's flat and flaccid, and she can barely kick more than like an inch off the floor. Len says she's full of fun. Bruno wants her to be sharper. Carrie Ann wants her arms to be bigger, which Tony takes issue with and continues to rant in the celebquarium.
Sean Avery and Karina Smirnoff: salsa
Sean knows that he carries himself like a sociopath, right? It's creepy, but I sort of dig it because I think he has some strange, dry sense of humor. And Karina seems to enjoy him, so he must be doing something right. I do agree with him it's weird if people walk around with a smile on their faces all the time. Sean's surprisingly light on his feet and has great rhythm, but he's not selling the whole fun, sexy package of the routine. Nor does he take his shirt off. No Sexy Hall of Fame induction for you! Bruno wants him to ignite his hips. Carrie Ann says he's very authentic. Len says it was "much, much better" than last week.
Cody Simpson and Witney Carson: tango
Witney busts out the posture bar to work on Cody's technique, but doesn't do anything to deflate whatever it is that's on his head. I'm semi-distracted from their glo-sticked-out formal wear, but it's a nice classic yet youthful routine for them. Plus, it includes the Moonwalk. Cody's posture starts off well, but he starts unraveling midway through to get to Witney's level and loses his footing as well. It is good to see that Witney's more of a Chelsie than a Lindsay when it comes to choreography. Carrie Ann loves how he stylizes his dances. Len says it wasn't compact enough, but loves the Moonwalk. Bruno says it was like watching Edward in Twilight. Can't make this up.
Results Part 5
It's between the last three couples. NeNe and Tony are safe. Sean and Karina, and Cody and Witney are not necessarily the bottom two. And the second couple hitting the road is... Sean and Karina.
"I made a new friend," Sean says. "I wish you could've seen more of Sean's personality," Karina adds.
Was that supposed to be suspenseful? Because it wasn't if you're gonna put someone up against a teen heartthrob with a gazillion teenybopper fans.
PSA: Voting for the partner switch-up has commenced and will end March 31. You can do so by tweeting #DWTS with the celebrity's and pro's first names. This will work out well. (Not.)
What did you think? Did the right two couples go home? Who would you induct into the Sexy Dancing with the Stars Hall of Fame? Is Charlie the next Baryshnikov? (No.) Who is Jeremy Miller secretly rooting for? Who's your current pick to win?