Craig Ferguson

When a guy's as funny as Craig Ferguson, the best thing to do is get out of his way. So without further setup, here are the five funniest things he said Monday at the Television Critics Association's fall press tour.

5. On his slip-ups: "I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens."

4. On Jay Leno's move to 10 pm: "I'm mystified by many things in life, and that one, I don't really understand what's going on there. I don't program television. I'm just the pretty one that reads the prompter."

3. On his boss, David Letterman: "David Letterman is the king of late-night television. ... My relationship with David Letterman is that I sit at his feet. That's what it is. I'm kind of his bitch."

2. On his career goals: "I don't want to be poor. I don't want to be rich to the extent that all I care about is keeping my job. I don't care enough about keeping my job right now. That's good. That makes effective at what I do. I don't want to be frightened of getting fired. So to that end I suppose my ambitions are that I spend less than I earn."

1. On aviation: "I'd like to announce I got my pilot's license on Friday of last week. I tell you why I love aviation. Because it is the complete opposite of show business. In show business you bulls---t, you bulls---t, you bulls---t and that's what you do and that's how you get ahead. In aviation you bulls---t, you f---in' die."