American Idol, Big Love
What a great week for confrontation: Bachelorette vs. Bachelorette. President Obama vs. a potential 2012 rival. American Idol vs. music itself. We scratched through catfights and lightsaber duels to get to the ultimate faceoff in our No. 2 spot — and the historic reunion at the top.
11. Worst Idol Performance: The competition is fierce in this week's race to the bottom, but Nick Mitchell's alter ego, Norman Gentle, dressed in a silver shirt, sweat band and shorts, claims top dishonors with a nasally and almost-insulting version of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," a song recently re-popularized by genuine Idol talent Jennifer Hudson. And we are telling you, we're not going... to watch much longer.
10. Most Forceful Workout: Star Wars enthusiast "Master Flynn" makes the Today cast don Jedi robes and wield lightsabers to learn a new Jedi workout incorporating moves like the Rebound, Follow-Through and the Lock. We hope it works, because no one who's into this kind of thing will shed any pounds having sex.
9. Blandest Dish: Top Chef 's final meal. It's fun to see former runner-ups return as sous-chefs, but we don't get to see their personalities as much as we'd like. (Um, Marcel, what's happening?) The whole episode is just more Hosea hating on Stefan, Padma making pretentious comments about the food, and Hosea hating on Stefan some more. And Hosea getting crowned the winner? They couldn't have picked someone more boring?
8. Best Wedding-Day Confession: Brenda Leigh is usually the one to get confessions, but this week The Closer herself has something to cop to. "I love you with all my heart," she tells new husband Fritz. "But sometimes I think my heart is only this big!" Fritz counters that it has room to spare. That, coupled with Brenda's Ding Dong-wedding cake mash-up, makes for a delicious season finale.
7. Least Compelling Catfight: The Bachelor stretches out a no-stakes dispute pitting long-ago-ousted Natalie against pretty much all the other women in the house. Honestly, who cares if Natalie gets mad at people for splashing her in the pool? It's just the latest in a series of bogus controversies the show has used to justify its overlong two-hour running time.
6. Most Compelling Catfight: The Bachelor, take note: Real Housewives of Orange County stages a saucer-of-Veuve-worthy confrontation when fiery Tamra accuses new girl Gretchen of getting paid to care for her older, ailing fiancé while keeping a boyfriend on the side. When Gretchen denies it, Tamra coolly tells her, "I think you're a troubled girl." Nothing stings like an understatement full of a tacit insinuation — in this case, "You seem like a total hooker."
5. Worst Road Trip: This week's Big Love builds on what could have been a Vacation-esque series of mishaps to a heartbreaking (and Emmy-worthy) conclusion: Sarah (the increasingly brilliant Amanda Seyfried) has a shocking miscarriage that reunites her bickering brood. The Griswolds they aren't.
4. Best Hope for the Future: Oh right, this is why Obama won. As sick as we are of the president showing up all over the dial, like he's Angelina Jolie or something, the man gives an inspiring speech — and came through for sure in his first major address to Congress and the nation. Whatever you think of his economic plan, you have to like his "We are not quitters" message. Because really, quitting in this economy? Good luck getting another job.
3. Weakest Rebuttal: In Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, it once seemed the Republican Party had found their great hope for 2012: a captivating leader with traditional GOP values and a compelling story that could demonstrate the party's commitment to diversity. Of course, that was before his Kenneth Parcell-meets-Mr. Rogers rebuttal to Obama's address. Is he really complaining about spending money to monitor active Alaskan volcanoes? How does Sarah Palin feel about this?
2. Best Surprise: Which of Lost's 10-or-so major shockers was the best of the week? Locke alive again? Widmore helping him? Abaddon getting shot? We'll go with the reveal that Locke didn't kill himself — Ben killed him. With Locke back among the living, and Ben barely holding on, it might be time for yet another reversal of fortune.
1. Other Best Hope for the Future: Days before a formal announcement that they'll reunite for The Tonight Show, Andy Richter appears as Conan O'Brien's surprise final guest on a pitch-perfect final episode of Late Night. (If only the pitches had been as solid during O'Brien's visit to an 1860s baseball game.) The return of Andy is just one amazing moment in an episode (and series) filled with them: What other host ends his run by walking into the audience, handing out demolished pieces of the set?
What were your Top Moments? And what was the week's best fight?