Jonathan Cake, Marcia Cross

Jeers to Desperate Housewives for bringing back Jonathan Cake.

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As Bree's police-officer beau, Chuck Vance, the British actor — best known in this country for, well, not much — displays zero chemistry with Marcia Cross. He seems to have returned only to try and amp up the tension as the Housewives attempt to cover up Carlos' killing of Gaby's abusive stepfather. But the tactic doesn't work — and surely, Bree would never be caught dead serving such an unappetizing Cake.

The rest of Desperate Housewives' final season premiere wasn't much more appealing. The Scavos' marital troubles have grown tiresome — just get a divorce already! — and new neighbor Ben Faulkner (V vet Charles Mesure) just seems like another anonymous British hunk. Is there a shortage of American beefcake on Wisteria Lane?

What did you think of Desperate Housewives' season opener?

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