VIDEO: The 6 Best Jokes From Charlie Sheen's Roast
While Charlie Harper was getting killed off Two and a Half Men, Charlie Sheen was getting roasted on Comedy Central.5.
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Seth McFarlane emceed the festivities, which featured such roasters as Jeffrey Ross, William Shatner and, yes, Kate Walsh.
Here are the six best jokes from the roast. [Warning: Videos contain profane language.]
6. "Prostitutes cost a lot of money, Charlie. Hasn't anyone told you actresses will sleep with you for free? That's Hollywood 101." — William Shatner
"If you're winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns. Charlie, don't you want to live to see their first 12 steps?" — Jeffrey Ross
"Charlie gets a little confused sometimes. He's the only guy who pulls a knife on a woman who's already willing to f--- him." — Kate Walsh
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"We all know there's a good chance Charlie will be dead soon, so I wrote an obituary. 'Charlie Sheen, who became a tabloid fixture due to his problems with drugs and alcohol, was found dead in his apartment' — actually, you know what? I kind of actually just copied Amy Winehouse's obituary. I only had to change three things, though: the sex of the deceased, the location of the body, and the part that says a talent that will be missed." — Seth MacFarlane
"The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox." — Anthony Jeselnik1.
"You're just like Bruce Willis — you were big in the '80s and now your old slot is being filled with Ashton Kutcher." — Amy Schumer