Celebrity Apprentices — They’re Just Like Us! (Except Not Really)
La Toya Jackson
This season of The Celebrity Apprentice has no shortage of extreme celeb behavior... thank God! A big part the show's entertainment value comes from getting to watch fame's absurd effect on real-life situations. Celebrities flail with more vigor, fail with more melodrama and generally attack the portrait of life with the broadest strokes possible... or so reality TV tells us. It's a logical effect, given that we're watching natural entertainers — or aspiring ones, at least. A few examples of the way fame intensified situations on this week's art-fundraising episode are below:
La Toya Jackson donated a personal item to the fundraising pile and because she's famous, it just happened to be the last T-shirt that her deceased brother Michael ever approved for his planned This Is It Tour. It ended up raising $99,000, and the Michael-themed baseball hat La Toya designed was named this week's favorite. La Toya is tapping into a medium she has favored throughout her career: familial coattail riding. (This is a woman, after all, who for years opened her shows with Michael's "Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'"). Not that we should expect any less — it's a Jackson family tradition.
Watch La Toya get weepy discussing Michael's death
Meat Loaf became frustrated by the competition and, more specifically, working alongside Gary Busey and because he's famous, he threw a screaming tantrum over art supplies that included the potentially immortal line "I bought those motherf---ing sponges!" He hasn't used his lungs to such melodramatic effect since 1993's "I'd Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)."
Watch Meat Loaf's meltdown
Busey consoled a then-teary Meat, who said he was "so embarrassed" and "truly wrong" for his tantrum, and because he's famous, he hatched a Buseyism for the occasion. Just FYI: F.O.R.G.I.V.E. stands for: Finding Ourselves Really Giving Individuals Valuable Energy. It also stands for famous men hugging.
Star Jones counts the deaf Marlee Matlin among her teammates, but because she's famous, she apparently doesn't realize that that means that Marlee can't hear her when she whispers in her ear. That didn't stop Star from trying or Marlee from explaining that she's deaf, because apparently her use of sign language didn't suffice. The whole thing says a lot about Marlee's communicative fluency and even more about Star's utter cluelessness.
John Rich called on friends to attend his group's fundraising art-opening, and because he's famous, the names of these friends were Two-Foot Fred, Charlie and Big Six. Bonus because he's famous: They donated $470,000 for a custom-Bedazzled guitar by Rich. In fact, the grand unifying and because they're famous of the episode had to do with the amount of money raised: Teams ASAP and Backbone raised a combined $1.6 million — the most ever in a single episode of this show. A layperson would have to hustle to raise one-ten-thousandth of that amount at his or her community bake sale.
Richard Hatch attempted to raise money too, but because he's not famous enough, he was unable to scare up funds that even compared to his teammates and thus was fired. Logic like that comes but once an episode.