Beyonce is now a happy mom to 1-year-old daughter Blue Ivy, but in her upcoming HBO documentary, the singer recounts her struggle to have a child.
"About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time. And I hear the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life," she says in the docu Life Is But a Dream, according to People. "Being pregnant was very much like falling in love. You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone."
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This marks the first time Beyonce, 31, has discussed the miscarriage, which was first referenced in a song her husband Jay-Z released shortly after Blue Ivy's birth, titled "Glory."
During the pregnancy, Beyonce recalls that she "envisioned what my child would look like" and says she felt "very maternal." Unfortunately, there were complications during the early stages of her pregnancy. "I flew back to New York to get my checkup — and no heartbeat. Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat," she says.
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Beyonce said it was music that helped get her through the pain. "[I] went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life," she says. "And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
Life Is But a Dream airs Saturday, Feb. 16 on HBO. Fans can also catch her performance at the Super Bowl XLVII halftime show this Sunday on CBS.