Anderson Cooper

On last night's episode of Anderson Cooper 360, Anderson Cooper dredged up an almost-two-week-old story about Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi earning more money than Noble Laureate Toni Morrison to speak at Rutgers University. We hardly need Cooper to tell us that's crazy, but he does, taking to task anyone who pays Snooki the thousands she makes for personal appearances while getting in some playful jabs at Snooki herself.

And look, Snooki is a weird cultural phenomenon—a beneficiary of dumb luck in a society that likes to consider itself a meritocracy, but is actually a ridiculocracy. Even if it were timely, much of Cooper's rant would be tedious because creating new jokes about an established punch line is redundant. And let's not forget that Cooper is also handsomely paid (to the tune of millions and millions) for a relatively cushy job compared to, say, a sweatshop worker or even a teacher. Yes, his job requires more brainpower and creativity than Snooki's, but it's not like he's broadcasting from the ground in Japan. No amount of mocking will change the fact that some people are just fortunate — especially those born to millionaires.