Today's News: Our Take


Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer...

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
This TV special pops up every Christmas, and I never miss a chance to visit the Island of Misfit Toys! Everybody roots for Rudolph, of course, but I relate most to Hermey the dentist elf. Hermey has fabulous hair and he's prettier and smarter than most of the other boy elves at school. So he doesn't fit in, 'cause he's different. Come out, come out, wherever you are, Hermey...

I Want a Dog, Charlie Brown
I knew Lucy had a little brother called Linus, but who's Rerun? Never heard of him. Anyway, I like the kid. But I'm concerned about him and all these other prematurely balding children. Is there a nuclear power plant in Charlie Brown's neighborhood or what?

Whoopi
Hey! Courtney's "black acting" Caucasian girlfriend lost those braids in her hair. Now, she has a glamorous Gwyneth 'do. I approve. However, that's about all I like this week on Whoopi. I'm feeling preached read more

GET OUT!

In what's being billed as his first major project since Seinfeld went off the air in 1998, Jerry Seinfeld has inked a deal to write, produce and star in Bee Movie, a CGI-animated feature for DreamWorks, Variety reports. read more

Survivor's Christa: So Hated!


Survivor: Pearl Islands castoff Christa Hastie decided to go on the adventure of a lifetime because, well, she liked her chances. "You don't get better odds for winning a million bucks," she tells TV Guide Online. "[A] one in sixteen chance — you might as well go for it."

In a nasty twist, the 24-year-old computer programmer from Los Angeles lost out on the $1 million, thanks to her closest friend and ally, Sandra — who sabotaged their tribe's fish supply and let Christa take the heat for it! "I'm totally fine with what she did," Christa shrugs. "I never would have thrown out the fish in the first place, but if I did, I never would have told anybody, either. It sucked to be me at the time."

It seems as though it sucked to be anyone left on the island with the insidious and deceitful Jon. Playing for sympathy, the guy tricked his tribe with a sob story about his be read more

DID THEY OR DIDN'T THEY?

The New York Post is reporting that expectant parents Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin tied the knot last Friday in a small ceremony. The alleged newlyweds are currently honeymooning in Cabo San Lucas. read more

A FAMILIAR VOICE

Friends star Lisa Kudrow is lending her voice to an untitled animated pilot under consideration at Fox. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kudrow would voice the mother of a family whose life is disrupted when their uncle moves in. read more

JIMMY CLICKS

ABC has picked up Jimmy Kimmel Live through the 2004-05 season. The late-nighter turned in a respectable performance during November sweeps. And by respectable, I mean good but not great. read more

JACKO UPDATE

Finally, some good news for Michael Jackson. According to a "bombshell internal government memo" obtained by TheSmokingGun.com, a confidential investigation by Los Angeles police and child welfare officials concluded earlier this year that the allegations that Jacko sexually abused a cancer-stricken boy were "unfounded." According to the memo, the boy allegedly told investigators that Jacko had not sexually abused them. read more

AND THEY SAID IT WOULDN'T LAST...

... and by golly, this time they were right! Bachelor No. 3 Andrew Firestone and fiancée Jennifer Schefft have split. "This is a decision we made together through long and thoughtful discussion," Firestone said in a statement released to Extra. "It is totally amicable and, though we care for each other deeply, we have come to realize that our future goals are different." In other words, Kirsten was better in bed. read more

Will Firefly: The Movie Take Flight?


It looks like that big-screen Firefly movie has been temporarily grounded. In September it was announced that Joss Whedon had struck a deal with Universal to turn his short-lived Fox series into a feature film, with shooting expected to begin in early '04. But in an interview with TV Guide Online, the acclaimed Buffy auteur hints that the much-talked-about venture has not in fact been cleared for takeoff.

"I have interest, I have hope, but I have no news," says Whedon. "I can't really talk about it. When there is news, I will [tell you]. But if I start talking about it before there is [anything definitive to say], it lessens the chance that [it will get made]." (Calls to Universal were not returned.) This much Whedon can say: Any Firefly flick would be accessible to fan read more

OH, LORDY!

Proving that old hobbits are hard to break, Lord of the Rings director Peter Jackson has expressed interest in securing film rights to The Hobbit, J.R.R. Tolkien's prequel to the Rings trilogy. "I'd be interested in doing it," he says, "because I think it would give continuity to the overall chapter." read more

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