Today's News: Our Take


WHATCHU TALKIN' ABOUT?

Turns out Gary Coleman can win for losing. The former child star's unsuccessful run for California governor has earned him a job as political analyst for the new Hollywood-based All Comedy Radio network. Coleman can be first heard this Friday. read more

DREAM ON

On last night's Larry King Live, Newlyweds dimwit Jessica Simpson revealed to substitute host Ryan Seacrest that she has been talking to Sony about starring in a feature remake of I Dream of Jeannie. Sounds like someone's blowing smoke up her stinky butt. read more

MORE BABY NEWS!

Late Show funny guy Conan O'Brien and his wife, Liza Powel, became the proud parents of a baby girl on Tuesday. Neve O'Brien was born at 5:13 pm in New York City. This is the couple's first child. Conan will resume his late-night duties on Thursday. read more

FOX HITS A HOME RUN

Buoyed by exciting baseball playoffs, Fox won the Nielsen derby last week with an average 13 million viewers. Compared to last year, Fox's playoff ratings are up a hefty 37 percent. Even more impressive, Monday's game beat ABC's Monday Night Football — a first for a baseball championship. In related news, go Yankees! read more

EXEC SHUFFLE

There's been a shake-up in Rob Lowe's Lyon's Den. Series creator Remi Aubuchon has been asked to step down as showrunner due to alleged creative differences with 20th Century Fox TV, the studio behind NBC's Sunday drama. He will be replaced by Den scribes Kevin Falls and Dan Sackheim, who have been promoted to co-showrunners. Strangely enough, all of this comes down just three days after The Practice beat Den in the ratings. All together now: "Hmmmm..... " read more

MARCH MADNESS

Talk about a Law & Order twist! On last night's riveting Law & Order: SVU, we were led to believe that exiting cast member Stephanie March went out with a bang when her character, ADA Alex Cabot, was killed in a drive-by shooting. (Alex was marked for death after she pissed off a crazed drug lord. Never a good idea.) But in the episode's final moments, Alex was revealed to be alive and headed for witness protection. (Her death was just a ruse to throw off the evildoers.) The good news? This means the sublime March — who left the show to pursue other projects — could return someday! The bad news? For the time being, we'll have to get by without her. read more

ALL SHOOK UP

Ozzy Osbourne has scrapped a planned European tour in order to be treated for a nervous tremor that had become "markedly worse" over the last two years. "I was at the point where it felt as if this problem was practically destroying my life along with my self-esteem," he says. "I was no longer comfortable being around people, which, as you can imagine, is not the best trait for a performer." According to Reuters, Ozzy's docs — who have ruled out Parkinson's disease — expect the tremors to come under control with medication. read more

THIS IS WHACK, YO!

It looks like Tony is going to have one whacked-out dream this season on The Sopranos. According to The Hollywood Reporter, several characters killed during the HBO drama's first four seasons will return next year for a dream sequence. Among those coming back to life: Vincent Pastore ("Big Pussy"), David Proval (Richie Aprile), John Heard (Detective Vin Makazian),Al Sapienza (Mikey Palmice), Dan Grimaldi (Philly "Spoons" Parisi) Jason Cerbone (Jackie Aprile Jr.) and, if a deal can be worked out, Emmy winner Joe Pantoliano (Ralph Cifaretto), who now stars on CBS's The Handler. What about Annabella Sciorra, who played Tony's late mistress Gloria Trillo? Maybe she's not really dead after read more

STORK REPORT

Speaking of sorely-missed Law & Order stars, Angie Harmon gave birth to daughter Finley Faith Sehorn on Tuesday in Dallas. This is the first child for Harmon and her hubby, St. Louis Rams defensive back Jason Sehorn. read more

SHORT CUTS

NBC has picked up freshman drama Las Vegas for a full season... Yoko Ono has given the green light to a new Broadway musical featuring the music of her late hubby John Lennon... Barbra Streisand has been tapped to receive a Humanitarian Award from the Human Rights Campaign for her support of gay and lesbian issues. The ceremony takes place March 6. read more

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