Today's News: Our Take


Traffic: Part 1 Not to be a champion...

Traffic: Part 1
Not to be a champion of the Ignorance is Bliss Club, but... I don't want to know that opportunistic Americans, like the DEA agent played by Elias Koteas, are setting up opium trafficking rings in Afghanistan. That kind of knowledge hurts my patriotic soul. And, in these post-September 11 days, I especially don't want to know that — while TSA agents make me do everything but give blood before I can board a plane to go see my mama — some American fishermen are helping black market travel agents ship freight cars full of illegal immigrants into the country. All willy nilly. Just like that. Welcome to America, y'all. For this reason, and this reason alone, USA's brilliant three-part series about the non-vehicular traffic crossing our supposedly secure borders just about sent me over the edge. For real. I don't want to know that people die trying to get in this country. I don't. And I don't want to feel sad or guilty about it, either. Espec read more

Question: I know I saw an ...

Question: I know I saw an episode of Little House on the Prairie in which a tornado came and Laura, who was married and had Rose, got down into the cellar outside and the house was destroyed. I have read over the shows in the ShowGuide and do not see it anywhere. It would have to be in the last season, after she marries, but I don't see it. Was it a special episode? It's a question I've had for years now, and I would love to know! Thanks. — Tracey T.

Televisionary: Oh, it was special, all right. The two-part "Days of Sunshine, Days of Shadow," which first aired in February 1982, featured tough times for Laura (Melissa Gilbert) and Co.

I mean, sure, baby Rose came into their lives. But then a hailstorm destroyed their crop (that pesky hail destroyed Michael Landon's crop in Season 1 as well), Almanzo (Dean Butler) was partially paralyzed by a stroke, and a twister flattened their house. Why, it read more

Question: The Jan. 10 TV ...

Question: The Jan. 10 TV Guide magazine article "Buried Treasures" says to go to your Web site "to find more special features on these and other DVDs." I have been to all your pages online, but can't find anything! Please help and tell me where to find this information. — Paul F., Durham, N.H.

Televisionary: But that item already did, Paul. It said to go to www.tvguide.com/eastereggs, which takes you here.

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Question: I have no idea if ...

Question: I have no idea if you'd know this or not, but you're my last hope. I was watching the new version of Battlestar Galactica, and was thinking about the original one and it dawned on me. How did they rig up the robot dog? I assume that was a midget in there. Thank you, and I understand if you don't know. — Marc P., North Providence, R.I.

Televisionary: Man, is my face red, Marc. Until you asked this question, I had just assumed that the show was real broadcasts from the future and that they used an actual robot. Turns out Muffit, the mechanical Daggitt that spent most of its time monkeying around with young Boxey (Noah Hathaway), really was a monkey. Well, a chimp, actually. (So spare me your corrections, please, dear readers — I know a chimp is an ape and not a monkey; I know everything... well, except for the stuff I don't.)

A 4-year-old chimp named Eve (short for Evolution) played Muffit on the series, which ran f read more

Question: What was the name ...

Question: What was the name of the song played at the end of the Jan. 13 episode of Line of Fire on ABC? — A Loyal Fan

Televisionary: That was Gary Jules's version of the old Tears for Fears song "Mad World," which certainly comes off as more haunting and poignant when he does it, no? You can find it on his album Trading Snake Oil For Wolftickets or on the soundtrack for the movie Donnie Darko.

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Question: I need your help. ...

Question: I need your help. My husband and father are fighting over who the guest star was on CSI on Jan. 15. These two guys are fighting like two kids over a lollipop. — Donna, Tuckerton, N.J.

Televisionary: Then tell 'em to knock it off. You don't specify which character sparked the battle, but I'm betting it's the murderous surgeon who was played by Kyle Secor, best known from his days as Det. Tim Bayliss on Homicide: Life on the Street. And I'm pretty sure their dustup is merely misplaced energy, Donna. What they're really fighting about is which one loves you more and wants to make you happiest.

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Question: Can you help me ...

Question: Can you help me with the name of an old show I used to watch? It had "Hit the Road, Jack" as its theme song and was about a dad who would go down to the basement and talk to this stuffed bunny that used to come alive. The bunny was in love with a Barbie doll. There were either one or two boys and a daughter. No one seems to know what I'm talking about except my brother; what's the name of the show? — Jordan, Peoria, Ariz.

Televisionary: Wow, Jordan. When you consider a show that ran from 1995 to 1999 "old," I begin to feel truly ancient.

You're thinking of Unhappily Ever After, a WB sitcom about used-car salesman Jack Malloy (Geoff Pierson), who was kicked out of the house by his wife (Stephanie Hodge) and given a stuffed rabbit named Mr. Floppy (voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait). The bunny, as you say, would come to life and was pretty much his only pal.

A few months after the show read more

FOUR GOLDEN RINGS

The third time was the charm for Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. The conclusion of J.R.R. Tolkien's epic trilogy was the big winner Sunday at the 61st annual Golden Globe Awards, taking home four trophies, including best dramatic movie and best director for Peter Jackson. Lost in Translation won three awards, including best comedic film, best comedic actor for Bill Murray and best screenplay for Sofia Coppola. Top dramatic acting honors went to Charlize Theron for Monster and Sean Penn for Mystic River, and read more

Family Feud for Obnoxious Fiancé?


When Fox's My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé draws to a close, bride-to-be Randi Coy will learn that, while she was fooling her family into thinking she'd really marry a tubby tool, the reality show's producers were tricking her into believing that her intended was just another contestant. (In fact, he's an actor.) But that doesn't mean the Coy clan wasn't still hoppin' mad over the deception. Have you seen the promos? In future episodes (airing Mondays at 9 pm/ET), those poor people get put through hell!

"I don't think [what we did to them] was necessarily cruel," the funny girl insists. "[The prank] was going to end; that was my [justification to go ahead with it]. It was two weeks. I didn't look at it as harming my family. I thought it was going to be all fun, but real emotions did play into it. It got tricky. I got some reactions that I didn't anticipate."

Gee, imagine: Coy's nearest and dearest didn't do a happy read more

Globes Make the Grade


Last night's live broadcast of the 61st annual Golden Globe Awards was a salute to the best in entertainment in '03. But was the ceremony itself entertainment deserving of a salute? To answer that $64,000 question, TV Guide Online put the Hollywood Foreign Press Association's black-tie back-slap to the test, bestowing upon it points for every moment that genuinely amused us... and taking them away whenever we had to pop a No-Doz. Sixty credits (out of a possible 100) were needed to earn a D-minus. So, did the to-do make the grade? Read on to find out. We stayed up late to do the math for you, people; the least you can do is read our review!

Presenter No. 1 Meryl Streep announced, "I've never opened an envelope before." Which must make answering her fan mail quite a challenge. (One point.) Later, accepting her own award, she made a stunning discovery: "I just realized you can see co read more

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