Today's News: Our Take


QUARTERBACK SNEAK

NFL second stringer Jesse Palmer picked 22-year-old law student Jessica B. over 23-year-old serial hurler Tara on last night's Bachelor finale. Although Palmer didn't propose, the New York Giant did offer her a one-way plane ticket to join him in the Big Apple. Tara, meanwhile, was presented with some chewable Pepto-Bismol tablets and a prescription to help her get a freakin' grip! read more

SHORT CUTS

7th Heaven's David Gallagher, who reprised his role as middle child Simon on Monday's finale, will stick around for much of next season, the WB confirms... Published reports say Jessica Simpson is thisclose to nabbing the role of Daisy Duke in the movie version of The Dukes of Hazzard... 60 Minutes II will be renamed 60 Minutes this fall. read more

ALOHA

American Idol producers breathed a sigh of relief last night as pitchy Hawaiian Jasmine Trias was eliminated from the competition, clearing the way for next week's climactic showdown between Southern belles Fantasia Barrino and Diana DeGarmo. As always, if you've got questions for Jasmine, e-mail them to me via the link at the bottom of this page. Extra consideration will be given to those folks who do not refer to the 17-year-old as "Jazzy." read more

FOX TROT

It's official: 24 will relocate to Mondays at 9 pm when it kicks off its fourth season in January '05. Kiefer and Co. will be paired with Athens, a college-set soap penned by O.C. creator Josh Schwartz. And as hinted Wednesday, The O.C. will shift to Thursdays in November, when it will lead into Tru Calling. Other highlights from Fox's three-tiered, year-round sked: A sketch comedy hosted by Kelsey Grammer bows in January; Arrested Development moves to 8:30 pm Sunday following The Simpsons; and Apprentice clone The Billionaire will occupy American Idol read more

SPECIAL, INDEED

The season finale of Law & Order: SVU attracted more than 18 million viewers Tuesday, the show's largest audience to date. This comes roughly one month after TV Guide Online singled out SVU leading lady Mariska Hargitay as TV's Most Underrated Actress. Coincidence? I think not. read more

Friends Again? Give us a chance...

Friends
Again? Give us a chance to miss these people, for God's sake! Criminy. This retrospective aired as part of that ridiculous Dateline goodbye special, then on its own the very next night before the finale and now, two weeks later? I don't see my family this often. Not that clips aren't hilarious, but you can only get so many miles out of this without it becoming a slideshow of how much the gang aged over the past 10 years. Trust me, NBC, we won't forget them, OK? At least not before they start showing up on Joey next fall.

60 Minutes II
So I tuned in to this for the Matthew Broderick interview and got sucked in by this report on the Green Berets, which was like, the first time they allowed cameras to follow them. And you know what? I think the Broderick piece was more insightful. At least with Ferris, the fakery was kept to a minimum. Sarah Jessica Parker glowed that her biggest gripe with hubby was that h read more

MOVE OVER, RAY

Everybody Loves Raymond executive producer Phil Rosenthal is lookin' for a little love in front of the camera. The onetime thesp has been cast in James L. Brooks' upcoming comedy, Spanglish. "I'm playing a chef opposite Adam Sandler," he says. "I used to be an actor 15 years ago. I've never done a movie in my life. It's unbelievable." read more

O.C. LAWSUIT!

Two writers are suing O.C. creator Josh Schwartz for $10 million, claiming that the idea for the Fox soap is theirs. According to USA Today, Scott Donnelly and Erik Lindsay allege that they had an agreement with Schwartz to develop a series called The Pointes. However, they claim the scribe went behind their backs and pitched The O.C. read more

White Stripes Hit the Big Screen


White Stripes rockers Meg and Jack White have branched out into the movie biz. Jack's already done the Civil War flick Cold Mountain, and the duo currently appear in Coffee and Cigarettes, the new indie by director Jim Jarmusch. Even so, Jack insists that all this big-screen dabbling isn't an effort to boost their celeb status.

"I hate that word," he says adamantly. "A love for celebrity is very empty. There are all these people talking about Paris Hilton, and there is really nothing going on there. She's not really doing anything — it is fake celebrity. But people want that and people strive for that, and I've never wanted that.

"I think people misinterpret some things," he continues ranting. "My being in Cold Mountain was because of how much I love American Southern vocal music. It wasn't a step in the direction towards fame and celebrity."

So why did the Whites sign up for Jarmu read more

Swan Reject: The Next Paula Abdul?

Last week, the makeover artists of The Swan crushed contestant Kelly B.'s dream of competing in their plastic-surgery pageant. But instead of letting bitter tears stain her brand-new cheeks with mascara, the 25-year-old Milwaukee resident decided to pursue another heartfelt goal — to become a cheerleader. Here, straight up, she tells TV Guide Online all about it.

TV Guide Online: Would you have been perfectly happy to leave The Swan with just a nose job?
Kelly B.:
Yeah. My nose is something that I was teased about ever since third or fourth grade. I always ripped up any pictures of me and my side profile. Even as I got older, people would say, "Did you get hit?" or "Did you break your nose?" It's just a big deal for me.

TVGO: No pun intended, I'm sure. So is your boyfriend as big a jerk as he appeared to be on air? He was awfully unsupportive.
Kelly B.:
It was a little creative editing, I think. My boyfriend was supportive of read more

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