Vermont-based jam band Phish announced Tuesday that they will break up at the end of their upcoming summer tour. In a message posted on the band's website, frontman Trey Anastasio said the group mutually agreed that "Phish has run its course." Their final album, Undermind, hits stores June 15.
Have you ever fantasized about what The Swan would look like without all of the apocalyptic overtones and Amanda Byram? NBC is betting you have. According to Variety, the network has greenlit production of The Biggest Loser, an eight-episode reality series in which plus-size contestants compete to see who can achieve the most spectacular physical transformation without going under the knife. "People will have to work to get healthy," says producer Ben Silverman. "There are no short cuts." (Unless you're really freaky looking, in which case a little nip, tuck and suck will be allowed.)
Rachel L., a 27-year-old newlywed from Sammamish, Wash., was crowned the prettiest former ugly chick on the planet on last night's finale of The Swan. In addition to her new surgically enhanced bod, Rachel wins a modeling contract with Champagne Trott Agency (get out!), a designer wardrobe that includes Tadashi, St. Pucchi and Claire's Collection (that's Greek for K-Mart, Dress Barn and Claire Danes hand-me-downs) and a $50,000 educational scholarship at Western International University (I hear that's tough to get into).
This episode makes me ask myself one question: How nice would the guesthouse have to be for me to willingly move onto a crazy rich old man's property? Hmmm.
Have we ever discussed the fact that this show is called Eve the real name of its rap star but the star's character's name is Shelley? I'm just saying.
Why is Eve, I mean, Shelley, forcing J.T.'s hand? "Does our relationship have a future?" she asked. "Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with me?" Now you know that's a dangerous question. Even if he does see himself having a future with you (which he does), he doesn't want to think of it in those terms. Girl, have you lost your mind?
The Swan: The Pageant
OK. The "world's most unique pageant" was also the world's worst pageant ever in the history of bathing-suit competitions everywhere. I mean, damn: Just because something
Victoria Beckham is standing by her man, telling the new Marie Claire that "David's never cheated on me... I really do believe deep down that I have the most faithful husband I could hope for." Posh Spice also squashed reports that her studly hubby is into porn, claiming he actually prefers to watch the British gardening show Ground Force. (Insert your own hoe joke here.)
HBO has dropped plans for a Sex and the City feature film after Kim Cattrall refused to commit. (But she's nothing like Samantha. Really.) According to Variety, Cattrall insisted on having both script approval and a paycheck equal to series star Sarah Jessica Parker. When HBO refused to meet her demands, the diva apparently backed out and instead signed on to Disney's upcoming skating flick Ice Princess. Cattrall's rep says her client "waited as long as possible with no script or start date and felt she had to take other offers that were presented to her." Responds HBO, diplomatically: "We've had six wonderful years with the show and we're extremely proud of what we've accomplished." Translation: "We let you frolic naked with Jason Lewis and this is
American Idol producer Simon Fuller is teaming up with Dick Clark to resurrect TV's seminal song-and-dance revue, American Bandstand. The new version, which will feature a fresh competition element, is slated to debut in summer 2005.
Question: Hello. Can you please help me find the Tennyson piece that Frasier quoted in his final episode? Thanks so much! Jeanne B., Secaucus, N.J.
Televisionary: No problem, Jeanne; I'm always happy to help promote the cause of literacy in pop TV. That was from "Ulysses," which you'll find in Tennyson's Poems, in Two Volumes, as well as a whole slew of collections. It's too long to run in its entirety (for that you can look here, among other places). But here are the parts Kelsey Grammer read in the finale of the show. (He cut a couple lines out; so I did, too, because accuracy's my bag at least, when I'm not making the rare mistake you eagle-eyed guys are so happy to correct.):
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles...
We are not
Question: Did 7th Heaven's Happy the dog die in real life? I read that he died on the WB site's message board. Please clear this up for me. Mel, Fla.
Televisionary: You're barking up the wrong tree, Mel. A nice lady at the WB tells me Happy is alive and well. Don't believe such tails.
Snoop Dogg's marriage has fizzled out. Citing "irreconcilable differences," the rapper-actor is seeking a divizzle from his wife of seven years, Shante Broadus. Snoop reportedly wants joint custody of the couple's three children.