Today's News: Our Take

Question: I missed some ...

Question: I missed some episodes of Nip/Tuck this season. When will the repeats begin? — Pat

Ausiello: Jan. 16.

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Question: Could you get some ...

Question: Could you get some inside news on Muppets' Wonderful Wizard of Oz? We all know who is starring in it, but what's it about? When will it air? Are there any publicity photos yet? Come on, pull some strings for me, will ya? — Dan

Ausiello: Great news: Piggy helped me secure an exclusive first look at Muppets' Wonderful Wizard of Oz. It'll run in my "TV News" column in TV Guide magazine in a few weeks, so keep an eye out for that. In the meantime, I can tell you that the movie is a retelling of The Wizard of Oz from a uniquely Muppet perspective. According to my spies on the set, Piggy gives a career-defining performance as all four witches — Wicked Witch of the East, Wicked Witch of the West, the Good Witch of the North and Glinda, the Good Witch of the South. As one insider put it, "If moi, um, Miss Piggy, doesn't win an Emmy for this thing, someone's gonna pay!" read more

Question: Will you be getting ...

Question: Will you be getting a big fat raise for this amazing new column of yours? — Pam Ausiello

Ausiello: What a coincidence — my sister-in-law's name is Pam Ausiello, too! To answer your question, I don't do this for the money, Pam. I do it for the fans. Folks like Anita Cashinfusion, Ivana Biggerpaycheck, I.M. Whoreforgreen... and the list goes on.

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Question: I love you! Are you ...

Question: I love you! Are you gay? Not that it matters, I'm just curious. — Karen

Ausiello: Congratulations, Karen! You're the winner of this week's "I can't believe you're asking me this. It's insulting, honestly. It's absolutely insulting" Award for the "Ask Ausiello" question with the most obvious answer! Please come forward to accept your Smurf Colorforms!

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Question: What time and ...

Question: What time and station is the quilting program on Saturday morning? — L.N. Kent

Ausiello: Send me those secret password ideas, people!

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Question: If you were ...

Question: If you were stranded on an island and could only have three items, what would they be? — Cat

Ausiello: A lifetime supply of you-know-what, a picture of you-know-who and a CVS pharmacy.

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Question: Dude, I just wanted ...

Question: Dude, I just wanted to see my name in here. If you know any hot chicks, send 'em my e-mail! — Jason

Ausiello: I forwarded your e-mail address on to a certain blond bombshell in Vancouver. If I were you, I'd stay close to my Blackberry.

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Question: So how does someone ...

Question: So how does someone get to go out on a date with you? — Larry

Ausiello: Well, first off, Larry, they need to e-mail me their photo so I can notify security downstairs that they might be dropping by. Then it's off to Stalker Alert for a quick drink.

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Question: I've noticed that ...

Question: I've noticed that Hawaii is not listed either this week or next on NBC. Have they canceled it already? — Christie

Ausiello: Someone needs to start reading my "Entertainment News" column. I broke that welcome bit of news on Oct. 15.

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Question: Why don't you like ...

Question: Why don't you like Elisabeth Rohm? In my opinion she is just as good as Mariska, superior in looks and her name is much easier to pronounce. — Sam

Ausiello: I'm liking the idea of this "Members Only" entrance more and more...

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