Today's News: Our Take


Don't mess with David Schwimmer. The former Friends star is suing Hollywood charity promoter Aaron Tonken for slander, Celebrity Justice reports. Tonken recently told the National Enquirer that Schwimmer refused participation in a fund-raiser unless he was gifted with two expensive Rolex watches. In court papers, Schwimmer denies this, calling Tonken "a scheming, pathological liar, bent on castigating celebrities by concocting bogus stories." It should be noted that last month Tonken was sentenced to five years in jail after pleading guilty to mail and wire fraud relating to phony charity events. Now that's what I call a giver. read more


R&B stud Usher scored a leading four nominations for the 2004 American Music Awards, including Best Male Artist and Best Album for Confessions. Rapper-producer Kanye West was close behind with three nods and Outkast nabbed two. The Jimmy Kimmel-hosted kudoscast airs Nov. 14 on ABC. read more


Carnie Wilson is about to lose her hard-earned figure. According to Entertainment Tonight, the Wilson Phillips singer — who underwent gastric-bypass surgery in 1999 to battle obesity — is expecting her first child with husband Rob Bonfiglio. read more


Pontiac's $7 million advertising blitz on Monday's Oprah Winfrey Show paid off. The episode ranked as Oprah's highest-rated season premiere since 1996. Next up: Oprah fulfills my dream and gives her audience a lifetime supply of chill pills. read more


HBO's Six Feet Under finished off its underwhelming fourth season with below-average ratings. Sunday's climax attracted 3.7 million viewers, down sharply from the 5.8 million who caught last year's third season finale. Theories abound on what sparked the Nielsen dip, but only one makes any sense: Episode 44, titled "That's My Dog." read more


Former Terminator badass Linda Hamilton announced on Tuesday that she is bipolar and has battled depression for most of her life. She was diagnosed 10 years ago, shortly after she stormed into her local pharmacy demanding SPF 2 million sunblock. read more


The remote-controlled car designed by the winning team on last week's Apprentice is coming to a toy store near you in early '05. Tweaked slightly for a "sleeker" style, the renamed Morph Machines will be produced by Mattel and sell for $30. And what about the losing invention, Crustacean Nation? The prototype will be melted down, turned into a clue and handed to Team Mosaic. read more


It's not Bill Clinton, but this'll do: Ben Affleck has been tapped to host the Oct. 2 season premiere of Saturday Night Live, TV Guide Online has learned. This will mark Affleck's third stint hosting the show. Nelly will serve as musical guest. read more


Martha Stewart wants to begin her five-month prison sentence ASAP, she told reporters at a press conference Wednesday morning. Though saddened by the prospect of missing out on the holidays, she expressed an "intense desire and need to put this nightmare behind [her]." As expected, Stewart has opted to serve the time at her local federal prison in Danbury, Conn. After that, she'll have another five months to lick her wounds (and do some serious redecorating) while under house arrest on her fancy estate. read more


Authorities in Charlottesville, Va., are trying to find out who sent a suspicious package — initially thought to be a bomb — to the home of best-selling author John Grisham. The envelope was dropped off in Grisham's mailbox on Saturday, but not by the U.S. Postal Service. After examining the mailing, police determined it was not a real bomb, just the movie version of The Chamber. read more

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