Today's News: Our Take

Question: Your picture ...

Question: Your picture frightens me. Are you now, or have you ever been, a psychopath or sociopath? — Randy

Ausiello: It's the eyebrows, I know. I'm long overdue for a good waxing.

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Question: So, when do I get ...

Question: So, when do I get my Michael Ausiello plush toy, action figure, bobble head and wrist watch? Huh? Come on! I have been waiting very patiently here! — Matt H.

Ausiello: My agents have advised me to hold off on a merchandising line until I can establish that there's enough demand out there. I'm thinking of putting a couple autographed head shots of myself on eBay to test the waters. What would be your maximum bid on something like that, Matt?

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Question: Can you give us any ...

Question: Can you give us any hint at all as to who is going to die on Lost? — Jenna

Ausiello: I'm sorry, but I value my life — not to mention my good relationship with the folks at ABC/Touchstone. That said, I can probably get away with saying that he/she will bite the big one before the season finale in May. Way before. And don't misinterpret the he/she thing. The ill-fated islander is not a hermaphrodite.

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Question: So, Scrubs has ...

Question: So, Scrubs has what, three new episodes left to air this season? Do you think NBC will finish the season early or do we have to wait until the end of April to see them? — Ryan

Ausiello: Actually, NBC ordered 25 Scrubs episodes — three more than the industry standard. As a result, there are six more episodes to go, not three. As far as the timetable goes, the season finale airs May 17, which means we'll have to sit through several weeks of repeats before we get to the first of the six new ones. And contrary to rumors, NBC did not extend the show's season to give producers time to write a series finale. Scrubs will be back next fall.

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Question: What are the ...

Question: What are the chances of 24 coming back for another season? — Cory

Ausiello: I'd say it's 90 percent certain. Speaking of 24, guess who just got cast in a Harrison Ford film? My favorite CTU techie Mary Lynn Rajskub (aka Chloe)!! "It's called The Wrong Element," Rajskub says. "Harrison is like a real heavy-duty financial guy, and I'm his assistant. His family gets taken hostage and I'm like, 'What's going on with my boss?!?!'" Filming gets under way April 6, right around the time Rajskub wraps 24. (As I previously reported, Rajskub took six weeks off to shoot Fox's The Sketch Show, which debuts this Sunday at 9:30 pm/ET.) In the meantime, Chloe reappears on the scene in Episode 13 or 14 — that's March 21 or March 28 — and Rajskub says, "There's more stuff with her and Edgar. And I might get to go out into the field, but I don't know yet." Chloe in the field? That's something I might get rea read more

Question: Hey Mike, love your ...

Question: Hey Mike, love your column. I don't really have a question — I just want to plug! — Stephanie

Ausiello: Your total comes to $29.95, Steph. Please pay at the register.

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Question: Aaaaww, come on, ...

Question: Aaaaww, come on, Mike! At least four gals performed a country song last week on American Idol. I'm dying to know who the bitch is (Ask Ausiello 3/2). Another hint please?!? — Bethany

Ausiello: The bitch did not get voted off last week.

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Question: If you succeed as ...

Question: If you succeed as "Dragonfly Inn guest No. 6" (Ask Ausiello 3/2), how funny would it be if you did some "product placement" of your favorite Smurf? — Alice

Ausiello: Let me work on getting a few lines first, Alice. After that, I'll introduce Amy Sherman-Palladino to Azrael and the gang.

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Question: I am an admitted 24 ...

Question: I am an admitted 24 addict. I know I'm not alone. Is there help for people like me? — Eric

Ausiello: Eric, when I'm in the throes of 24 withdrawal, I step back, take a deep breath and recite these wise words: "In the end, those of us that walk away winning, win more than just a loss." Works every time.

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Question: Mike, I need you to ...

Question: Mike, I need you to do a favor for me. Thank J.J Abrams for me, 'cause I am having a blast watching this season of Alias. — Kechi

Ausiello: I actually forwarded your e-mail to the TV God, and let's just say he really appreciated the props. And no, J.J. is NOT my hairy Alias mole. (Bitch won't tell me nothin'.)

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