Top Moments: A Turkey Pardon, Shoeless Dancing, and What Scares Barack Obama
30 Rock, Dirty Sexy Money, America's Next Top Model
No shirt or shoes were required this week, as the world went mad: Two of our favorite shows went to their deaths with dignity — and sex appeal. There was talk of eating cats, but a Thanksgiving turkey got a pardon. Steve Martin went back to being silly, and to top it all off, the future leader of the free world admitted that one person still intimidates him. Enjoy our Top Moments, end of the world edition.
12. Biggest Shoe-In: Irony alert! Lance Bass, this season's Dancing with the Stars underdog, scores Monday's top marks and earns a spot in the finals for a WWII-themed jitterbug so frenzied he actually kicks off a shoe. This comes just weeks after Lance and Lacey, the show's beleaguered "progressive" couple, tried to shake things up by dancing barefoot, and felt the wrath of a trio of pearl-clutchingly traditional judges.
11. Best Proof that High School Never Ends: 90210's Brenda and Kelly can't seem to stop dating the same guy. After Brenda tells Kelly they have nothing in common and can't use "history" as an excuse to move forward, Brenda lands herself in the hospital, where she confesses that she's kept her distance because she slept with Kelly's new man-boy, Ryan.
10. Top Model: After maneuvering her way through a whimsical runway of hills, steps and winding paths, McKey is crowned America's Next Top Model. Now she'll never have to get into her boyfriend's line of work: cage fighting.
9. Biggest Letdown: One Tree Hill's throwback to 1940s cinema turns out more cheesy than classy. Nathan and Haley's love story shines, but making Mouth a drunk, Owen a cop and Peyton indebted to Dan doesn't advance the season a bit.
8. Fastest SNL: Unable to host next week's Saturday Night Live, Justin Timberlake performs a two-minute version of the show on Weekend Update: "Applause, applause, applause, I try to start talking, more applause, seriously people, settle down, more applause, it's great to be here hosting Saturday Night Live, even more applause, OK, enough." Then a run-through of the rest of the show. Step one, cut a hole in the turkey. Laugh, laugh, laugh. He capped it all off by leaping up on the Update desk to perform "SexyBack." Watch JT's appearance on our Online Video Guide.
7. Best Bath Linens Model: From Dirty Sexy Money, one of two Top Moments shows that got the axe this week: Karen makes no secret of her affinity for the assorted nozzles in her fiance's luxe shower, but it's Simon who (nearly) gives us an eyeful. Wearing a towel extremely low on his chiseled torso, Blair Underwood proves you can be clean and dirty.
6. Worst Photo Op: The election is over, but Gov. Sarah Palin continues to provide gaffes aplenty. Moments after pardoning a Thanksgiving turkey, she gives a news conference at a turkey farm — unaware that apparently unpardoned birds are being executed behind her. MSNBC's captions include, "Turkeys Die as Governor Palin Takes Questions from the Media," "Gov. Sarah Palin Keeps Talking While Turkeys Get Slaughtered Behind Her," and "Gov. Palin Apparently Oblivious to Turkey Carnage over Her Shoulder."
5. Best Civics Lesson: Millions of Americans find out who outranks the president-elect when Barack Obama is asked on 60 Minutes whether his mother-in-law will move into the White House: "I don't tell my mother-in-law what to do," the future commander in chief explains. "I'm not stupid. That's why I got elected president, man."
4. Biggest Wedding Crashers: It was a close one on Smallville: Lana Lang returned just in time to squelch a smooch between Clark and Lois. But the edge goes to Doomsday, who — in Cloverfield style — terrorized the farmhouse reception and took home much more than a centerpiece. He took the bride. (Of course, the most unexpected guest didn't make it to the party at all. Got enough tubes in you there, Lex?)
3. Best Moment of Silence: Sometimes not saying anything says it all. We love how The Shield let Vic Mackey squirm in his interrogation chair — speechless for what seemed like an eternity — as he contemplated confessing every. single. dirty. deed. Watch the entire episode on our Online Video Guide.
2. Best Guest Appearance: Sometimes it feels like 30 Rock is written around its guest stars, but Steve Martin fit in seamlessly as Gavin Volure, a con man under house arrest who pretends he's just agoraphobic. Volure's lament after a failed escape attempt is sure to join the long list of 30 Rockisms: "I miscounted the men, Liz! I miscounted the men." It's good to see Martin play goofy again.
1. Best Cameo: You knew Fred Willard would be great as the Great Herrmann on Pushing Daisies, but in a magic-themed episode packed with top-notch actors showing off all their tricks, Mr. Show alum Paul F. Tompkins made a brief but magical impression as a freak who eats and regurgitates glass, magnets, and all kinds of other inedible things. His ultimate dream is to eat a cat — and of course regurgitate it. This is the kind of moment we'll miss most about Daisies, may it rest in peace. (Or live on in comic-book form.)
So... what were your Top Moments?