Today's News: Our Take


HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED

Ralph Fiennes has been tapped to play the bad guy whose name we can't say in the forthcoming Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Warner Bros. announced Wednesday. The fourth installment is slated for release in November 2005. Oh, screw this. It's Voldemort. His name is Voldemort!!! read more

Bet Your Life Pass the popcorn,...

Bet Your Life
Pass the popcorn, folks. It's time for the Next Action Star movie and I'm not gonna let anybody trash my Sean and Corinne. Granted, I may be a tad biased, given how my addiction to NAS would wig out Betty Ford, but this was a hoot. Sean's a gambling addict who agrees to let crazy Billy Zane hunt him for sport in exchange for $2 million... if he survives. Corinne's the bootytastic bounty hunter looking to collect his debts. And just plain looking fab. It's like The Running Man without Ahnold and all the Jack LaLanne jumpsuits. Thank God. Of course, it won't be shooting them anywhere near the A-list, but my peeps should be proud. I mean, this could have been From Justin to Kelly with rocket launchers instead of dance numbers. Let's just hope NBC doesn't let these two disappear. After all, Days of Our Lives' Lexie so needs a kick-ass sistah and Passions can always read more

GREAT WHITE WALL

Pink Floyd's The Wall is headed to Broadway. Miramax Films and former Sony Music chief Tommy Mottola are teaming up to produce a musical based on the seminal album. Floyd's Roger Waters, who sold the rights to Miramax and Mottola, will write the show's book and orchestrate the music for the production. read more

BIG TWIST

If you watch just one episode of Big Brother 5 this summer, tonight's installment should be it. After being duped for five weeks, the housemates will finally learn the season's big twist: that identical twins Adria and Natalie have been switching in and out of the house pretending to be one person. Clearly, the only way the show can top this stunt is to allow preening ape-man Jase to marry his beloved. (And by "his beloved," we mean his own reflection, not monkey-boy sidekick Scott.) read more

OFF THE BEAT

Lifetime has axed its four-year-old cop drama The Division. Says a network rep: "We felt that the show had, as all television programs eventually do, run its course." In related news, Lifetime just ordered five more episodes of Missing — a show that has not only run its course, but recently veered off of it and crashed into a tree. read more

PARTY ON!

Fox is developing a half-hour comedy vehicle for Hollywood party girl Tara Reid, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The deal caught some insiders by surprise given that during her 10-episode arc last season on Scrubs, Reid managed to suck the life out of every scene she was in. read more

Punisher Star's Name Change


We thought Hollywood had room for only one movie star named Tom. Mr. Cruise, that is. But The Punisher's Tom Jane (the artist formerly known as Thomas) has other ideas. Ads for his new indie film Stander — which opens Friday in limited release — feature his new stage moniker.

Apparently, Jane thought Thomas sounded too old-fashioned for an up-and-coming matinee idol. "I'm just trying to get my wife [Patricia Arquette] to call me Tom," the 35-year-old laughs. "I thought if I put it on billboards maybe she'd get the hint!"

In Stander, Jane plays Andre Stander, the legendary South African detective turned bank robber. Playing this part required him to become a master of disguise, changing his wardrobe several times a day for the robbery scenes. Jane thrived on playing the real-life antihero. "My allegiance was to Andre Stander the man," he enthuses. "Not the fans, not the family, not the country, not wha read more

ROCK THE VOTE

More than 30 left-leaning musical acts, including Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and the Dixie Chicks, are banding together for a series of fund-raising concerts one month before the November election. Their goal? To unseat President Bush. The "Vote for Change" tour, which kicks off Oct. 1 and is sponsored by MoveOn.org, will only make stops in undecided states such as Pennsylvania, North Carolina and Florida. Decided states are encouraged to go back to straddling the fence if they want to get in on the action. read more

AND THEY'RE OFF

An estimated 15,000 aspiring William Hungs lined up around Cleveland Browns Stadium Tuesday to be the first to audition for American Idol's upcoming fourth season. I hope Scooter Girl showed up because she wuz robbed! read more

FAHRENHEIT UPDATE

Fahrenheit 9/11 won't be disqualified from Oscar's documentary race after all. On Tuesday, we reported that the pic faced possible disqualification because it ran on Cuba's state-run television, and Academy rules say a feature film can't air on the small screen within nine months of its release. Well, that ban apparently doesn't apply to pics that have been pirated. read more

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