Today's News: Our Take


OFF HER ROCKER

Courtney Love pleaded not guilty in a Manhattan courtroom Thursday to charges that she assaulted a fan with a microphone stand during a concert last March in New York. But the real drama took place in the women's bathroom, where the loony tunesmith held a rambling press conference and announced that, "Mrs. Consuela was the pet name for his genitals." At last, the mystery is solved! read more

HE'S ALIVE!

CBS is developing a four-hour movie about Elvis Presley that for the first time will use master recordings of some of the King's biggest hits, Variety reports. It's slated to air next season. read more

Survivor's Jenna Laughs Last


During the Survivor: All-Stars reunion, we learned that Jenna Lewis had recently eloped with model Travis Wolfe, whom she'd only begun dating a few months ago. The third-place finisher has more than mere matrimonial news up her sleeve, though. You see, while Jenna acted like a good-natured chatterbox during her island stint, she's also quite the spitfire. Here, TV Guide Online discovers just how sassy this mother-of-two can be, as she expresses her true feelings about Amber, Jerri and her other Survivor rivals.

TV Guide Online: Congratulations on your wedding. Was that spur of the moment?
Jenna Lewis:
Yeah, it was a spontaneous thing last weekend. He asked me, I said yes. My daughters love him. It is so good for them.

TVGO: You lost the game when you had a small slip up, barely moving your foot during the final immunity challenge.
Jenna:
It's ridiculous how I'm going to relive that moment for th read more

SHORT CUTS

Mean Girls star Lindsay Lohan has been tapped to host the MTV Movie Awards on June 10... The MPAA has slapped an NC-17 rating A Dirty Shame, the latest comedy from cult director John Waters. The film stars Tracey Ullman as a working-class store owner who turns into a depraved sex addict following a concussion... Jim Carrey is mulling a sequel to Bruce Almighty, Variety reports. read more

DOINK DOINK

Law & Order has tapped acting vet Dennis Farina (Midnight Run, Get Shorty) to replace Jerry Orbach next season. As previously reported, Orbach is transferring to spinoff No. 3, Law & Order: Trial by Jury, which debuts on NBC at midseason. Although Farina's character is still being fleshed out, exec producer Dick Wolf tells TV Guide Online that the 60-year-old Crime Story star will be playing an "Italian cop who's an iconoclast... and a confirmed bachelor." Adds Farina: "He's going to be a little out of the ordinary." read more

Joseph Lawrence Gets Married


This week, Joseph Lawrence fans let out a collective sympathy "Whoa." The 28-year-old actor confirms to TV Guide Online that his struggling WB sitcom, Run of the House, won't return this fall for a second season. You haven't seen the last of Joey, though. He's just taped an ABC pilot, I Married Sophia, and learns next week if the series will join the network's fall lineup.

The pilot casts Lawrence as a once-successful New Yorker whose recent job loss leaves him strapped for cash. Through an illegal website, he finds Sophia — a foreign woman in need of a green card — and marries her in exchange for $10,000. He expects to take the money and run (and they say romance is dead!) but a suspicious INS agent forces the fake couple to cohabitate with her 7-year-old son. Fun, huh?

"It's a great hot-headed romantic comedy," Lawrence says. "It's all about the relationship of these two people. The chemistry is there instantly, but they fight it read more

ULTIMATE SURVIVOR?

Reality titan Mark Burnett is in talks with Martha Stewart about a possible syndicated show starring the jail-bound domestic diva. "My vision says her customers and fans are still loyal to her," Burnett tells Variety. "I don't think the Martha Stewart brand loyalty has changed." read more

SHRINK WRAP

Frasier ended its storied 11-year run Thursday night with two happy endings, a big mystery and 25.4 million viewers. First, the happy endings: Niles and Daphne became first-time parents and Crane patriarch Martin married ex-model Nina van Horn. Now, for the mystery: After accepting a new job in San Francisco, lovelorn Frasier jetted to Chicago to win back would-be soul mate Charlotte. Was he successful? The freakin' curtain fell before we could find out. Imagine that: A sitcom ending that doesn't spell everything out for the viewer. That's no fun. read more

RUPE WINS!

It's official: Rupert Boneham is the most popular Survivor of them all. The lovable pirate was awarded a $1-million check live Thursday night on CBS after fans chose him as their fave all-star in an online poll. The runners-up were Big Tom (huh?), Colby and Boston Rob, who revealed during the show that he and fiancée Amber are talking to a network about televising their nuptials. Would they ever do it? Cracked Rob: "If the price is right." read more

YIPPEE, A SWAN SCANDAL!

The doc hired to counsel the ugly ducklings on Fox's The Swan is apparently as fake as the contestants. According to The Smoking Gun, therapist Lynn Ianni received her Ph.D. from a California correspondence school that was described this week as an unaccredited "diploma mill" by congressional investigators. Now, if only TSG would find some dirt on host Amanda Byram. read more

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