House, Bones, Grey's Have Sex Dreams... But Not Sex
House
Look, we have unrealistic dreams of our own. We don't need to see the unrealistic dreams of the imaginary people on TV, too. That's just too many steps removed from anything we might ever care about.
So we're underwhelmed by the new hallucinatory sex trend sweeping this season: House and Cuddy and Bones and Booth ended the will-they-or-won't-they speculation in their respective finales, and Grey's Anatomy introduced Izzie's brain tumor by having her have sex, loudly and often, with the very-dead Denny. (In so doing, the show also made the first-ever argument in favor of cancer. Bad.)
All the sex was pretend. Or set in an alternate dream-world. Or something. House and Cuddy's rendezvous was brought on by the doctor's addiction to Vicodin, while the Booth-Bones liaison was the product of his coma dream — or her writing — as she sat at his bedside.
We understand: The writers of all three shows tried to have it both ways by getting characters to have sex without actually touching. But that's not having it any way.
What do you think? Do we need to add another shark-jumping category to go with our ever-reliable "They Did It"? Maybe "They Did It — But They Didn't?" Or "It Was All a Necrophilic Dream?" Do you want your favorite shows to abstain from what our own Matt Mitovich dubs "pseudo-lovin'"? Weigh in below.