How I Met Your Mother Episode Recap: "The Naked Man"
Having trouble closing the deal? Have no fear, The Naked Man is here. After Ted walks in on Robin's date sitting in nothing but his birthday suit, the gang learns of an absurd, yet profoundly simple, technique that's bound to get you some — well, two out of three times, at least. And how did the quintet deal with it? Let's dive in!
It's been one month since Stella ditched Ted and he's already back on the prowl, ever so carefully. After delicately and silently navigating his way through a week's worth of daily elevator rides, Ted musters the courage to ask Vicky out — after of course performing verbal diarrhea by announcing he was dumped at the altar. As he heads home, FutureTed tells us the story's going to take a turn for the worse. Recounting all the crazy things he's seen in the apartment (Lily painting male acrobats; Barney locked in a water tank; gun-toting Robin threatening gun-toting burglars; and, of course, Missy the Goat), Ted says nothing compares to what he was about to walk in on — Mitch lounging nude on the sacred red couch. Mitch then reveals the reason behind his buff-ness: It's his "move." When you're not much of a catch and the date is pretty much going nowhere, it's safe to play the Naked Man hand, where you disrobe when the lady's out of the room and wait for her to come back to "shock and awe." The surprise nudity induces laughter and then, apparently, sex. It works two out of three times, Mitch guarantees. Sounds crazy, no? Everyone brushes off the Naked Man as well, believing Robin would never fall for such a lame move. But lo and behold, she did — Mr. Wang secret sign and all.
Mitch's score leaves Barney speechless — the Naked Man has revolutionized the one-night stand. He is not worthy. "I'm like Batman. But this Mitch — he's Superman. He just rips off his clothes and is good to go." Still, the gang can't believe it worked on Robin, leading Marshall to call her a slut because "the only thing standing between you and sex is clothes." On the defense, Robin struggles to explain their "connection of specialness and feelings," but is adamant she didn't sleep with Mitch because he was naked. "There's only one reason to sleep with someone," Marshall the "big girl" says — and that's for love. Aww. Tear. Sensitive Marshall rocks! Now if only he'd cut his hair. Anyhow, this leads to a discussion of reasons to have sex, for which Lily starts compiling a list, which includes make-up sex, break-up sex, couldn't sleep sex, curosity sex, nothing on TV sex, expiring condoms, "getting hard" (That's what she said!) sex and "cheetos" sex. Soon talk turns back to the Naked Man. Barney is dead set on "suiting down" that night and urges Ted to do so as well with Vicky. Meanwhile, Robin sets out to defend her non-slut dignity and Lily works on her list.
Inside his potential conquest's apartment (where he's gonna see her aquarium...is that what we call it these days?), Barney retreats to the bathroom to strip down and call Ted...who reveals he's going for the Naked Man as well after his dinner with Vicky went south. Here we get a series of strategically angled shots of "naked" Ted and Barney floating their Naked Man poses — Superman, Captain Morgan, Oops! I Didn't See You There, The Thinker, The Heisman, Mr. Clean, The Burt Reynolds, Coppertone Baby and Olympic Gynmast Who Stuck The Landing (another Olympics reference this season — be still my heart!). As he's nude-posing, Ted notices a book of poems by his personal fave, Pablo Neruda, on the coffee table, bookmarked to his favorite. Thinking they may be meant for each other after all, he gets dressed and asks Vicky about the poems. She says a guy left it there and the "turd" of a book is in "Mexican." We know what this means: Naked Man. It works.
Back at Lily and Marshall's apartment, Marshall's livid over Lily's list because he's now figured out why flossing gives him an erection — sex to "reinforce good behavior." But there was no flossing here — Lily pulls the Naked Wo-Man to "change the subject" and because she loves him — reason No. 50. Her pose, by the way, is I've Got Boobs. As for Robin, she tries her damndest to connect with Mitch, who calls her on the "I'm Not a Slut Date" and tells her to just admit she slept with him because he was naked. She brings him by MacLaren's, but when Marshall tells her she's not a slut anymore, it's bye-bye Mitch. "We all tried the Naked Man," a grateful Ted tells Mitch. But wait, what about Barney? They give him a ring. His date answers. Turns out, the two out of three ratio is correct. Disgusted, his date threw Barney out into the cold, suitless and in all his naked glory.
As for Mitch, well, like any great superhero, when his job's done, it's time to go. A toast to Mitch, y'all!
Very funny ep, but I could see why some may not enjoy it. It requires more suspension of disbelief than we're used to, and the Naked Man theory itself is kinda ridiculous, but this show does do absurdity best unlike any other. Still, I dunno about you, but if I saw a naked guy on my couch I'm not even remotely attracted to, the first thing I do is not going to be laughing at his "charm," but hey, whatever floats your boat. The Naked Man poses were pretty spectacular — if only because NPH looks amazing without a shirt. Again. Sigh. And the Reasons for Sex list? Get the WHOLE list right here! Doesn't Lily have nice handwriting?
What did you think? Does The Naked Man really work? Is it guaranteed two out of three times? Was Robin a slut for falling for it? Has Barney got one-night stands wrong all along? Are you surprised Ted tried the Naked Man? Do you agree with Lily's list? What other Nicholas Sparks tearjerker would you recommend for Marshall and his book club? (I call A Walk to Remember!)
