Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, Nov. 17, 2008
Hey folks, it's the Dancing with the Stars semifinals! I'm just as excited as all of you are to see who makes the lucky trio of couples, so let's get straight to it. I have to admit that so far things have gone pretty much as I expected. No surprises whatsoever. I'm hoping that this week we can shake things up a bit, inject a little drama in the proceedings. I'm not suggesting anything Tonya Harding-inspired, but here's hoping for something shocking to happen so we can use that word on the homepage again!
BROOKE BURKE and Derek Hough
Derek is frustrated with himself because he's wasting too much time coming up with choreography when they should be practicing; Brooke wants the "wow factor" that she saw between Derek and Julianne when they danced the jive last week.
OK, so their jive looked like it was rockin' the house until about five seconds from the end when it seemed like they missed some element, and the rest of the routine just imploded. Len says it was a disaster, riddled with mistakes. Bruno says they "went for the wow, the problem is how?" He is totally shocked. Carrie Ann is most offended by the fact that she went for a blatantly illegal lift; she thinks it's disrespectful — disrespectful! Her self-righteous disappointment offends me. The judges spank her with a 21, her worst scores ever. Ouch. No sunny expression can change that, but Derek says it anyway. Sigh.
Louis Says: "When I was watching, I thought, 'Wow, this is great.' Then I saw her first mistake, and then another and another. I really think the pressure is getting to her!"
CODY LINLEY and Julianne Hough
Cody says it was nerve-wracking being at the bottom of the leaderboard, so he flies to Nashville to surprise an appendix-free Julianne at the CMA Awards. Back in the studio, Julianne has to work on Cody's stiffness (heh).
The pair reports for duty with a military-themed paso doble that is totally insane, scored to a cool, percolating techno soundtrack. I'm guessing the judges will hate this, but to me it hits a fun, modern note that puts a little "Mr. Roboto" in the paso. Julianne's full skirt swings freely, trailed by the stardust and unicorns and bluebirds and rainbows that are always in her wake. Bruno says, "Well, that was different." Uh-oh. Then he strings together "AWOL," "android," and "queen of mean" into something resembling a sentence that, oddly, kind of makes sense — or is at least evocative. Needless to say, he doesn't like it, and thinks it was too far removed from the dance's Spanish origins. Carrie Ann gives them a 10 for determination, but says they need to smooth things out. Len thinks Cody is going to get his marching orders, since he thinks their dance was stiff and wooden. They get a 22. The judges are harsh so far, ay? Berge cracks that the audience gets a 9 for their communal booing.
Louis Says: "His determination comes through, but he was awkward and stiff. I thought the soldier thing was an interesting take on the paso doble, but it wasn't quite enough.
WARREN SAPP and Kym Johnson
These two are the cutest couple. Warren flies to Philadelphia every Tuesday night to record Inside the NFL. Thursday morning he's back in L.A. to rehearse. What a grueling schedule. Kym thinks he's too hard on himself.
Kym appears to be wearing a wig from the Phyllis Diller Collection for their simple mambo, which is scored to the song "Tequila" made famous by Pee-Wee Herman. Oh, I meant to say this last week when Maurice pulled out that cape, but I think any wardrobe-related fussing should be a no-no. Cody awkwardly fumbled with a jacket, as did Warren. None of these moves had any smoothness to them, and thus detracted from the professionalism of the dances. All the judges compliment Warren on his ability to entertain, but Bruno points out that he was flat-footed. I think his big smile goes a long way toward distracting us from his feet, right? They earn a 24, which I think might be a little generous. I thought Cody and Julianne were way better, and they received two fewer points?
Louis Says: "Sometimes I thought he was thinking too much, and then his personality emerged, and then he went back to thinking too much again."
LANCE BASS and Lacey Schwimmer
To watch his rehearsals of the jitterbug, Lance imports his grandfather from Mississippi, and he has a cute Southern accent. That is all.
Their mambo is fun, even if Lacey looks like she's wearing a Project Runway reject. To quote the immortal Michael Kors, she looks like she's pooping fabric. But their moves are quick and precise to my untrained eye, and I like the jazzy, brassy number they choose. I can see why the judges have called out Lacey for being too showy; she has a lot of spotlight moments in this dance, including a hot, freeze-frame back bend and a shocking ass grab. I like it a lot, and so does Granddaddy, so game over. They win. Len says it was the best dance so far. Bruno says it was imaginative and quirky. Carrie Ann says it was a showstopper. They earn a 28, and they're in first place.
Louis Says: "He's feeling it; he's dancing from the inside out, having a great time. This was his best dance so far. I thought he deserved two 10s for this routine. "
What fresh hell is this? Len's Master Class! It seems Mr. Goodman is going to consult all the finalists on their weaknesses. He shows up for his session with Lance and Lacey barefoot, and teaches Lance how to point his toes. He attempts to loosen up Cody, showing him how to roll his hips. He has a little leg action with Brooke and shows Warren some fancy footwork. Warren reciprocates by giving him some touchdown-dance lessons, which is funny.
Now some pros are going to show us what the dances are supposed to look like. This seems a little mean. The salsa dancers appear to be carved from cream cheese they are so shiny and attractive.
BROOKE BURKE and Derek Hough
Brooke's salsa outfit is outrageous. They recover nicely from their earlier fiasco, which is mostly due to the fact that Brooke can roll her hips like nobody's business, and they do a fling-y move at the end that is quite impressive. "Brooke is back, thank you, thank you," says Bruno. Carrie Ann bitches about lifts again (grrrr), but compliments Brooke on her comeback. Len says she's crisp and clear, and I agree. They earn a 28, which I'm guessing is kind of a relief to them.
Louis Says: "She made up for her first dance. It was one of her great routines, a great comeback. But is it enough? We don't know at this point how the fans have voted."
CODY LINLEY and Julianne Hough
Cody and Julianne's salsa is a lot of fun, and quite passionate at times. Like they came thisclose to making out at one point. But I feel like they're trying a little too hard with some of the moves. What was all that staircase nonsense? Julianne clearly enjoys spinning, as she loses hundreds of brain cells during this routine. As I'm watching, I'm thinking of all the possible critiques the judges could have, and I'm realizing how hard they are on poor Cody. Their choreography is really varied and innovative. Carrie Ann says it was fun, but points out that Cody's musicality was off; he was a little ahead of the beat at times. Len disagrees, saying he got his hips moving and had very strong legs. Bruno says he danced like a "cheeky devil," but he says he is still a little loose technically. They earn a 24.
Louis Says: "He's so freaking cute, but there's still something awkward. Carrie Ann says he lacks musicality, which I guess is a nice way of saying that there's something weird about his dancing. He's working his butt off to make it."
The pro jitterbug dancers are positively spastic, and my eyes hurt trying to follow them.
WARREN SAPP and Kym Johnson
Let's do a little test. I'm thinking that the judges are going to say that this isn't a jitterbug. It's definitely tacky-cute, just like their croupier and roulette wheel outfits, but there's something a little too slow about it. Len says he's a joyful person to watch, and he knows how to sell it. Bruno says something about Starship Troopers, and then criticizes Len on his advice. Carrie Ann liked it. So forget my little test; I obviously have no idea what I'm talking about. They earn a 25.
Louis Says: "He has real natural basic abilities with his legs and feet."
LANCE BASS and Lacey Schwimmer
I love this song! "Go, Jim Dandy!" Did he seriously just kick off a shoe? How the heck did that happen? Someone needs to give the kid some shoelace-tying lessons. Then again, their moves are fast and furious, and Lance was really kicking hard. Bruno says "shoes off or shoes on, that was brilliant!" Carrie Ann agrees. Len salutes him. They earn a 29. Let me just underscore the fact that Lance beat everybody tonight, something he has never even come close to doing. Good for him.
Louis Says: "This was the best dance of the entire season, absolutely his best performance. He is in the finals; that seems clear. He is just having a good time. I saw him yesterday, and he is just calm, warm, and excited. It's interesting to see what this show can do for you -- not just as a competitor, but as a person. At this point, I think he is going to win the whole damn thing. "
Let's check the leaderboard:
Lance and Lacey have 57.
Brooke and Derek and Warren and Kym are tied with 49.
Cody and Julianne have 46.
Wow, well, I guess things were shaken up a bit. I wonder if the change in standings will be reflected in America's votes. We shall see.
Louis Says: "I think Cody and Brooke are at the bottom now. But I think they're going to keep Brooke in the finals because she's the only woman left. I don't think Cody is going to make the finals. "
What do you think? Who's your favorite couple now? And who doesn't deserve to go to the finals?
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