Dancing with the Stars Episode Recap: Monday, Nov. 3, 2008
"He's bringing cranky back," Berge cracks, paraphrasing Justin Timberlake, Yes, Len Goodman is back in the hizzy (wearing a snazzy fedora to boot) to hold court over this week's Dancing with the Stars proceedings. It would seem that Susan Lucci is in the hot seat after a few weeks of subpar performances, but will Lance, Brooke and Warren be able to hold on to their momentum in the face of stricter judging and continuing fatigue? How will Cody adjust to his new partner, Edyta, while Julianne is still on the mend? We're down to the final six, which means, in order to fill all 90 minutes allotted to the Monday show, we also have team dances, in which two groups of three couples will compete, one taking on the cha cha cha; the other, the paso doble. How did they all do? Read on to find out...
WARREN SAPP and Kym Johnson
Warren needs to get into the character of the foxtrot, so Kym takes Warren to meet Nick Kosovich, Former World American Ballroom Champion, for some pointers. Right off the bat, their judges' table interlude seems a little out of sync. As with other more structured steps, Warren seems kind of at a loss. It's more his forte to break loose and show us all how light he is on his feet. Len says it wasn't a traditional foxtrot. Bruno says he missed a lot of steps, and seemed a little flat-footed. Carrie Ann finds out that Warren isn't wearing the right shoes, and that he didn't make it fun like he usually does. I agree. They earn a triple-7, to - good God - earn a 21, and the fates continue to torture me with that ridiculous expression.
Louis Says: "He was so self-confident when he started. I've seen these celebrities that get so seriously into it that they lose the fun after they get popular. He looks too concerned. This is typical of athletes. Entertainers start insecure and gain confidence; athletes are the opposite. I thought the judges were overly critical."
Samantha seems a little looser tonight; is she drunk?
Uh-oh, all the couples are fighting again. Darn feisty celebrities and all those exotic-accented pros! When will hard-fought peace come to Dancing with the Stars?
SUSAN LUCCI and Tony Dovolani
Susan says nobody feels safe since there was no bottom two last week, but who here doesn't think she was among them? Susan and Tony come thisclose to doing it in the rehearsal room there is so much sexual tension. "I need a little bit of anger," Tony says, because that's what the paso doble requires. He also needs her to have more confidence. Susan looks like a Disney pirate witch tonight, and Tony's pecs are walking the proverbial plank. I have to admit that Susan seems more present tonight, but somehow their moves, while passionate, don't seem well-matched or coordinated. Bruno says she can ride that bull like a something something something. Carrie Ann embarrassingly asks her to say "I am doing good," which the soap diva graciously does, all the while saying with her eyes, "I will totally cut you, Inaba." Len says she did a great job. Samantha mocks Tony's facial fuzz in a totally human way! Who knew? They earn a 24.
Louis Says: "She lacks that passion. It looks like she has to be always thinking about her steps and her posture. It's better to have a mistake in there and get out of your head a little. But thank God the judges like it."
MAURICE GREENE and Cheryl Burke
Cheryl thinks Maurice is holding back too much, after which he promptly hyperextends his leg, leaving the Olympic champ with a limp. Their cha cha cha is scored to a fun song that I don't recognize ("Cuban Shuffle"?), and it allows the pair to cut loose a little. In my opinion, Cheryl is the show's most talented pro when it comes to choreography, as they show us a few new energetic moves that send one of Cheryl's gigantic earrings flying. Carrie Ann said it was perfect. Len said it was like cheap jewelry ("bright and sparkly, but not always top quality") - a cut on her chica chic? Bruno said that happy days are here again, and that Maurice trusted his instincts. They earn a 25, including a 9 from Len. "You're such a marshmallow after a week off," snarks The Berge.
Louis Says: "He didn't miss any steps. I thought it was good, but like Warren, he looks too worried. I'm not sure if his dance deserved that 9 from Len though."
CODY LINLEY and Edyta Sliwinska
Aw, Cody and Edyta went to visit a bed-resting Julianne. Cody reports that he loves Julianne like the ocean loves the sand - or rather, that Edyta doesn't know his capabilities like Julianne does. Nevertheless, Edyta is wearing a very nice tablecloth and Cody is wearing a heinous suit the color of a cheap Cabernet, so what could possibly go wrong? Their Viennese waltz is nice, and while there were moments when I felt like they were moving a little ahead of the music, all those criticisms instantly vanish when they end their routine with a pose clearly lifted from the Joy of Sex handbook. Blush. Len says Cody didn't look comfortable doing the waltz. Bruno riffles through his metaphor dictionary and says that he was like a fledgling bird not quite ready to take off. Carrie Ann sees an opportunity to milk the booing crowd and tells them she thought it was great. Yay! (Obvious.) Waiting for the scores, Cody praises Edyta for stepping in, but Samantha yanks the mic before he can begin reciting to his slumbering Julianne what appeared to be a love sonnet of some sort. "I love y--...," he says. They earn a 22. Scores are lower than usual tonight, ay?
Louis Says: "He made some great shapes, did some good turns, but he needs to loosen up. To see a guy 18 or 19 years old do something so old-fashioned, it's difficult. To me, he pulls it off. He and Edyta didn't look like a new couple at all, but since we're all used to seeing him with Julianne, it was weird."
Lance and Lacey are all squabbly too, and Lacey is done trying to make Lance happy 24/7. I think they're getting a dance-floor divorce, y'all!
LANCE BASS and Lacey Schwimmer
Can Lance hold on to his lead? The pair is dancing barefoot (controversial!), but Lance hurt his toe, so Lacey cries because she's frustrated with Lance's negative attitude. The hell...? I'm as confused as Lance is, but maybe they were unfairly edited. They make up, of course, because the producers reprogrammed Lacey in the interim. When I think rumba, I think John Mayer, don't you? Their barefoot (!) rumba is a "Wonderland" though. A little too arm-sweepy for my taste, but still fairly competent. Bruno says barefoot in the park has never been more romantic. Carrie Ann thinks the risk - not wearing shoes - paid off. But Len didn't get it because in his day, people wore shoes when they walked uphill through the snow... or something. "Fiber," advises Bergeron. Ha! Samantha calls Lance's nude-colored foot brace "fundies," for foot undies, which is also actually kind of funny. What is going on here, America? They earn a 25, the evening's high.
Louis Says: "Brave and rebellious -- to me, that's why Lance and Lacey are there. I am so happy they [danced barefoot], but I wasn't sure because of Len. I knew he was going to have the reaction that he did."
BROOKE BURKE and Derek Hough
Brooke has to recover from a lackluster rumba last week. Derek says the elegance of the foxtrot really suits Brooke, and that there are moments where he feels like he's dancing with a professional. Brooke looks really hot, and their foxtrot, to "Birdland," is smooth and elegant. One quibble: Their final flourish seemed way off the music, as Derek appeared to chuck her across the dance floor in an effort to catch up. Carrie Ann said her lines were "ridiculous" (good ridiculous). Len says it was truly fantastic. Bruno says it was "gob-smacking beautiful brilliant performance from start to finish," this week's winner of the best nonsensical string of various parts of speech derby. Wow! They get the season's first perfect score, a 30! Derek is so happy that... he's disrobing? I guess because he has to go change for the team dance. Berge says he can take off anything he wants, just not his shoes. Oh, Berge!
Louis Says: "I thought she looked stunning and showed great form and pure class. I'm not surprised about the perfect 10s; she deserved them."
TEAM CHA CHA
Is this really a good idea? Cody, Lance and Susan have the performance edge, says an unbiased Cody. Susan feels like the weak link since she lost so much time being in New York. Honestly, I don't know how she does it. Edyta is nervous about having enough time for Saturday's team rehearsal. This routine is kind of dirrrty so far, what with the 9 ½ Weeks-style hats and all the chest-baring. Who sings this omnipresent song? It's got me begging for mercy. Did Cody lick Edyta? WWJS? I didn't see a lot of unison in the moves, but all the dancers handle their solo parts pretty well, kind of hard to distinguish actually. Although I do think that Lance and Lacey upped the ante energy-wise. Overall, it seemed like the opening dance number of a forthcoming West Side Story remake if it were set in Miami instead of New York and was cast with all white people. Like that Cuban Dirty Dancing fiasco. All the judges singled out Lance and Lacey, but Carrie Ann in particular says their unison was terrible, and I hate that I agree with her because she's acting like a real pill tonight. Oh! Samantha says she has the flu, so all is forgiven. Team Lucci earns a surprisingly low 20. Berge snarks that Carrie Ann is taking Unison for her flu. Heh. I love that guy.
Louis Says: "Carrie Ann might have been a little harsh about being in sync, but when you do a team number, you'd better have it right, and they were all over the place. Cody was stiff, but very convincing. Susan almost looked scared of Tony. I really enjoyed seeing Lance go from a responsible adult to a kid who just wants to have fun. He saved that team."
TEAM PASO DOBLE
Warren, Brooke and Maurice have good team chemistry. Brooke, that saucy minx, says she's used to competing (I just bet you are!), so it's nice to work together. Warren gives the team a Super Bowl-worthy pep talk, but Maurice is still nervous. Where did that smile go? "Team Cha Cha, we going to paso on your doble," Warren reports. The man is good at smack talk. Their paso, scored hilariously to the Stones' "Rocks Off," is high-energy, but I can already hear the judges complaining about the lack of form since they're having fun, but they're kind of all over the place. For my money, Derek and Brooke really paso'd the hell out of the evening. More than the other group, the celebs really worked at comparable levels to the pros, don't you think? Bruno says the guys are all blazing guns, and the girls are all awesome weapons, and then he invites them to rock him anytime, which I'm sure is an offer on which they will all take him up. He also says they looked like a team. Carrie Ann agrees, saying it was a "magical mish-mash." Len points out that it is more difficult to keep tight in the ranks on a marching dance, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. They earn a 29, the clear winners of this Dancing with the Stars monstrosity.
Louis Says: "I mean, they took this competition. Maurice looks funny with his butt sticking out, but funny in a good way, like it's fun to watch. Warren was very serious, but this time he looked great because he was in character for the paso doble. The judges said they were flawless, but they were not. Brooke made some mistakes. They got higher scores, but their dance was easier."
Oh jeez, they each have to do two dances next week. I should start planning the "snack" menu now. Brooke and Derek regain the top spot, and Cody and Edyta (gasp!) are at the bottom. Wednesday's results show will include a performance by Lionel Richie, to which I say "mama-say-mama-sa-mama-coo-sa"!
Check back tomorrow for the far more professional observations of once and future Dancing with the Stars pro Louis van Amstel. In the meantime, how do you think our little fledglings did? Who is your favorite couple after Monday's performances, and who do you think will get the (not barefoot) boot?
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