Dancing with the Stars: Our Wish List
Elle Macpherson, Andre Agassi
ABC will announce the cast of the new season of Dancing with the Stars on Sunday during its prime-time lineup. But we can't wait! In the meantime, read our celebrity picks to pound the parquet this season, and tell us who you'd like to see in a ruffled tuxedo or a bejeweled bra and hot pants. (Dancing premieres on Monday, March 9 at 8 pm/ET.)
The Big, Lumbering Athlete
FOR HIM A lot. The Steelers are the current Super Bowl champs. He's comfortable being on TV: Besides a clever cameo on The Office, Bettis is an analyst for NBC's Football Night in America. He has overcome asthma, fer cripe's sake!
AGAINST HIM The former Pittsburgh running back's nickname is "The Bus," and, well, a bus ain't exactly graceful.
The Female Athlete
FOR HER America roots for the two-time Olympic medalist who was always thisclose to getting the gold.
AGAINST HER She'd be Dancing in the shadow of Kristi Yamaguchi, who danced so well people complained that Season 7 lacked suspense. The similar training regimes of ballroom dancing and figure skating gives her an unfair advantage.
The Male Athlete (Standard-Sized)
FOR HIM Well, he's certainly quick on his feet.
AGAINST HIM Without Sampras on the scene, will the mellow Agassi be able to muster enough drama to capture our attention?
The Female Hottie
FOR HER She is catnip for the male demographic: a not-unattractive, physically fit former model who designs — and models — lingerie. Plus, she's Australian which will feed a fella's accent fetish three nights a week.
AGAINST HER If she dances like she acts (see: Sirens), it won't be pretty.
The Male Hottie
Freddie Prinze Jr.
FOR HIM He's available!
AGAINST HIM Buffy fans have never forgiven him for ruining their "one day I will marry Sarah Michelle Gellar" fantasies.
The Soap Star
FOR HER Dancing loves picking from among current and former soap stars; her stint on Passions qualifies her.
AGAINST HER These days, McCarty has another passion: appearing in adult films. Not so perfect for the Disney-owned network!
The Older Gentleman
FOR HIM Um, he was Ponch, whose CHiPs uniform was not dissimilar to a typical Dancing outfit.
AGAINST HIM His last foray into prime time didn't exactly set the world on fire.
The Recording Artist
FOR HER Just watch the "Electric Youth" video. 'Nuff said.
AGAINST HER Former pop divas haven't always fared well on the show. Just last season Toni Braxton stumbled after mere weeks in the competition.
The Talking Head
FOR HIM Whether you love him or hate him, you'd tune in to see if he kept his composure throughout the show's rigorous training and relentless schedule. Actually, you'd tune in hoping he wouldn't keep his composure.
AGAINST HIM Hollywood liberals loathe him; he'll never make the cut.
The Woman of a Certain Age
FOR HER Fans of The Jeffersons and 227 know that Gibbs has charm, comic timing and attitude to spare.
AGAINST HER The audience will all just be sitting there, thinking, "God, I wish they had gotten Jackée Harry instead."
The Blast from the Past
FOR HER She has the nostalgia factor on her side: You either wanted the Facts of Life star's hairdo or her bod.
AGAINST HER Whelchel claims to be retired from performing, and is probably too busy home-schooling her kids and assisting with her husband's ministry.
The "Wild Card"
FOR HIM The professional skateboarder/one-man conglomerate knows a thing or two about fancy footwork.
AGAINST HIM Hawk's a cool, low-maintenance kind of dude, and it's unlikely he'd be caught dead in some of the heinous duds the show foists on its competitors.
The Corruptible Youth
Kimberly Kevon Williams
FOR HER The former Days of Our Lives star had a nice guest spot on Private Practice this season. (She was the young receptionist who reignited Tim Daly's passions.)
AGAINST HER Wait, who?