Starting weight: 328 pounds
End of Week 6: 279 pounds
Total loss: 49 pounds
Previous Weight: 280
Weight Lost: 1 pound
Current Weight: 279
With Lisa gone, it is more important than ever to come together as a team and make every second in the gym count. Lisa was our motivator. She would get us up early every morning, she would pull us off the couch when we didn't want to go walking, and she made sure we were all eating right. Basically, Lisa was the mom of the group and now it's like we have been kicked out of the nest. We have to learn to fly on our own.
With all that pressure looming above our heads, we walk up to the gym with our trainers. But instead of being greeted by the smell of sweat and the early morning moans of the treadmills beginning to wake up, we find Alison standing in front of three dice; one for each team. What's more disconcerting is that on each die are pictures of everybody taken right after the first workout. You know, the one where everyone passed out, threw up, had their expectations of the experience shattered and were basically ground into a fine powder. Needless to say, we all look pretty broken down in these mug shots.
Alison informs us that only one person from each team will represent their team at the weigh in. That's right! Each team's fate lies on the shoulders of the one person whose face pops up on the die at the weigh-in.
This lights a FIRE under each of the trainers. They start pushing even harder than before. Bob makes each and every person on his team say, "Let it be me who pops up on the die." He wants to make sure that all of their heads are in the right place. Each person should be treating their week like they will be the ones representing their team. Nobody slacks, nobody takes a break.
Dolvett puts us through the ringer! We move from one challenging workout to the next, even more challenging workout. We are going at an intensity that we never thought possible. And, just when I thought I was feeling better, I begin to throw up all over again. Damn! What we do at the ranch is hard. It's even harder when I can't do anything without profusely vomiting on everything. All I want to do is finish a workout. When I have to stop to throw up, it just brings back all that baggage from home. I feel like I can't finish anything because I'm not good enough.
When I was a kid, I got picked on a lot. For one thing or another. For being one of the only white kids on an Indian reservation. For being the chubby kid. For being gay. There was a lot of material for other kids to grab onto. This lead to me feeling like, no matter how many "friends" I had, I was alone. I never felt good enough because all through my childhood, I was told I wasn't. And when I have to stop in a workout, I suffer through all those feelings again.
When Dolvett hears all this, he gives me probably the greatest talk I have ever had. He tells me that, ever since he began working with me, I have never done anything halfway. I the heart of a lion and no matter how hard my journey has been, I have never given up. And it's good that nothing has ever come easy for me. He doesn't respect easy. It's good that this journey is hard for me because that just means I have to want it more than everybody else.
But most importantly he tells me that I am good enough. And if I want something in my life, all I have to do is make it happen. I know it sounds generic and goofy: "anything is possible when you put your mind to it...'' but I had never really believed it until D said it to me. He truly believes in me and wants me to succeed. And seeing that he has so much confidence in me, makes me want to work and push harder than ever before. Now, I feel like I can take over the world. I had this within myself my whole life, all it took was D pointing it out to me. And I will be grateful to him for the rest of my life.
I am good enough. I am strong enough. And I am doing this for me. I will ignore my insecurities and keep going, even when things get tough.
At the challenge, our teams roll the dice because only one of us will participate. The challenge is a combination of balance and a calorie quiz... combined with a Wipeout style obstacle. Each player has a balance beam. On one end is a menu board and on the other, are plates with a calorie count printed on them. We have to move the plates one at a time over to our menu board and place them with the correct dish on the menu (example: the plate labeled 142 Cal. Would be placed with the greek yogurt dish).
The twist is that we have to avoid being knocked off by these giant, swinging arms. If we get hit, we take a 7-foot fall into a pit of smoke. It is seriously scary.
The die lands on Danni, Gina and myself. We will be going head to head on the balance beams.
But it quickly went from being the scariest challenge to being the funniest challenge. The fact that we simply COULD NOT get across the beam without getting knocked out was hilarious. Even the ones getting knocked off the beam couldn't help but laugh when it happened.
Danni ends up winning and receives letters from home. And while it would have been great to receive some words from my family, I have to focus on the weigh in.
Last chance workout this week is way cooler than any other workout we have ever done. Not only do we get to leave campus (which is always a welcome change), we get to go to a real boxing gym and train with a real boxer. Not just any boxer; we get to train with 5-time, undefeated, world champion Laila Ali! Not only did Dolvett give me the pep talk I needed to feel strong again, he designed a last chance workout for us to put our strength to the test. The red team loves boxing and this is the most perfect last chance workout for us to do.
At the weigh-in, the dice lands on Joe, Jeff, and Danni. Only their weights will count at this weigh-in. Which is good because the scale is not my friend tonight.
I only get a 1-pound weight loss. I'm not quite sure what happened there, and honestly, I don't care. Because even though I didn't lose a lot of weight off my body, I lost A TON off my mind and there is nothing more valuable than that.
The blue team loses the weigh-in and eliminates David from the ranch. David is such a strong, kind person and I know that he will do GREAT without the ranch. He is going to go home, spend some time with his family, and help a lot of people start their weight loss journey. I hope for nothing but the best for him
Much love- Jackson