Ask Ausiello

Ausiello: I'll give you something, but I can't guarantee it'll reduce your anxiety level. The exiting NCIS series regular will be (last chance to bail before major spoiler!) tragically murdered in one of this season's five remaining episodes. Now, whaddya say we get those comments up to 400 by close of business today?

Ausiello: An ABC insider tells me there's a "good chance" Eli will see a second season. It helps that it scored its highest ratings Sunday after Desperate Housewives. And for the record, Yolanda, I'm kind of, sort of loving it, too.

Ausiello: I have a better idea. How 'bout I eliminate one of the options from the mix? I can confirm that the "big stuff" does not involve any sort of Jam split. That leaves engagement, elopement and having sex as the three remaining possibilities. Look for the field to narrow even further tomorrow night between 9-9:30 pm/ET.

Ausiello: Neither Jim nor Pam is currently hiding a drug problem. But someone else is.

Ausiello: According to Mother star Josh Radnor, the chances are really good. Check out my interview with him in this week's Ausiello Report vodcast and pay really close attention around the 3:38 mark. And if after that you're still not convinced, click here.

Ausiello: Sure sounds like it based on Fox's official episode description for the May 19 season finale: "When a human jawbone shows up at the Jeffersonian, Brennan and the team quickly realize that the Gormogon serial killer has struck again. In a shocking turn of events, an explosion in the lab sends Zack to the hospital; Gormogon's silver skeleton goes missing from the basement vault; and every Jeffersonian employee becomes a suspect, with the very real possibility that one of their very own may be working with the twisted and elusive serial killer."

Ausiello: I don't believe so. They will, however, become temporary parents to a baby whose mother was murdered under mysterious circumstances. That episode airs April 28. 

Ausiello: First, let's explain to the class what you're referring to, Mandy. In the current issue of TV Guide (on sale tomorrow), guest spoiler columnist Shonda Rhimes offers a first-person preview of the show's final five episodes — and she saves the best for the last paragraph. "A lot happens in these five episodes," the onetime Information Nazi writes. "And it all ends with a kiss. A good kiss. A great kiss. A kiss so good it makes you lean into your televisions. A kiss we never saw coming. Oh, it's a major kiss." Unfortunately, I come bearing no clues since I honestly have no idea whose lips will be smacking. She kind of threw me for a loop with the whole "kiss we never saw coming" bit. Up till that point I just assumed it was reunion-bound Mer-Der. Got guesses? Post 'em in the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread!

Ausiello: Michelle Trachtenberg's roots are showing. At least they will be later this season when we meet Georgina's extremely rich and extremely concerned Upper East Side parents. Also, I'm hearing that a private jet bound for Europe plays a significant role in the finale.

Ausiello: Spotted: Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick and two female companions strolling past Benny's Burritos in New York's West Village last Saturday evening as TV Guide's Michael Ausiello (accompanied by a male companion) was inhaling a tofu-laced brown rice and black bean bowl.

Ausiello: You're too late — they've already found a few good-looking men: Benny Ciaramello (Friday Night Lights' Santiago) and Road Rules grad David Giuntoli have been tapped to play the same-gender-lovin' gay soldiers who share a "very romantic kiss." If you're having trouble picturing these two guys together, check out this exclusive preview, courtesy of TVGuide.com's associate art director, Cathy Suhocki.

Ausiello: As I understand it, there'll be about 80 minutes of actual show, plus 22 minutes of commercials and 18 minutes of ABC promos. Give or take a few minutes here and there.

Ausiello: I can confirm that Alona Tal is not returning for an episode this season and, therefore, will not be getting killed off.

Ausiello: I'd say the chances are pretty good since she'll still be under contract.

Ausiello: I suppose if I have to. Sources confirm to me exclusively that recently sprung thesp Tom Sizemore will guest-star in this season's penultimate episode on May 12 as a no-good PI by the name of Anthony Pellicano Kurt Rossi. Dude's so headed for a Horatio beat-down it's not even funny.

Ausiello: No, but I imagine it's connected to the new Emilie de Ravin contract that I'm hearing about. Speaking of Lost, if it's a major death-related spoiler you crave, then check out this week's AR vodcast!

Ausiello: Both, actually. My weekly Smurf Anonymous Appreciation meeting is held at the gym. If you're interested in attending, the next one is this Sunday behind the recumbent bikes.

Ausiello: Word around Universal City is that the big BS has another name in mind for Office 2.0, and it looks a little something like **a*** *e**. Which depresses me a little. It's not that **a*** *e** is a bad actress, I just think she's all wrong for this. Lauren Graham, on the other hand, is, well… my god, can you imagine?!

Ausiello: The chances are about as good as you appearing on the cover of TV Guide's Sexiest Stars issue next month. [Beat] Uh-oh. Me screwed now.  

Ausiello: That depends. Were you a fan of either 7th Heaven and/or What About Brian? 'Cause this season's next-to-last episode features guest turns by both Stephen Collins and Matthew Davis.

Ausiello: I wish I could. And so, apparently, does series creator Sean Smith. "I've tried a million times to bring her character back, but the stories just haven't really surfaced yet," he tells me. "But as God and you and your readers as my witnesses, I will bring Charisma Carpenter back!" 

That's all, folks. Send questions/tips/Aus sightings to ask_ausiello@tvguide.com! See you back here next week!