Ask Ausiello

Ausiello: Tell me about it. Luckily, in this case, no news really is good news. A Scrubs insider tells me that it's looking very good that NBC will give the show the proper send-off (i.e., several new episodes culminating with a series finale) it deserves. "The details are almost worked out," whispers my source. Translation: Consider that bullet almost dodged.

Ausiello: Wanna hear something even funnier? My plan worked, 'cause he's attending now! Sort of. A source close to the sold-out Buffy panel tells me that although Boreanaz has a family commitment the evening of March 20, he will likely tape a special message for fans. Short-story-shorter: Look for me in the front row of the Cinerama Dome huntin' and peckin' away on my Dell laptop!

Ausiello: With that kind of mesmerizing talent on display, why on earth would you want to?

Ausiello: According to the only insider that really matters these days, A.C. Nielsen, Michael and KITT are cruising for a fall pickup.

Ausiello: Five minutes into the ceremony it's going to seem like there's a lot of hope. (Hint: I'll take "Famous TV Wedding Clichés" for $500, Alex.)

Ausiello: Jack Donaghy's dream of creating a TV show that strands a bunch of middle-aged whores-for-hire on a deserted island is about to become a reality. Rock is casting a slew of attractive females in their late thirties to early fifties to serve as contestants on the fictitious "MILF Island". The twist? The male contestants courting the hot mamas on the show-within-a-show are described as being "of eighth-grade age." Yep, 30 Rock's back, folks. Rejoice!

Ausiello: Much to my surprise, I'm hearing a fourth season is pretty much a lock. Go figure.

Ausiello: The tax man cometh to Wisteria Lane, and he's in his late twenties, very sexy and answers to the name Tim. He's also Susan's cousin and, per my Desperate mole, he arrives to help Mike fill out his 1040s and gets into a little mischief along the way. The show is also casting a teenaged version of the character. Apparently, Tim witnessed a tragic event when he was 18, and producers want us to see it!

Ausiello: Libby actually pops up in the final pre-strike episode (now airing in late April), and the original plan was for her to return for at least one or two more this season. Whether or not that's still happening is an open question. I imagine that's one of many issues Team Darlton is hammering out as we speak.

Ausiello: You've probably seen this clip from tomorrow's episode of Chef Locke delivering two eggs over easy to Ben in solitary. Well, wait until you see the breakfast he whipped up for his other prisoner. Hint: It's bursting with flavor and, if digested properly, quite the appetite suppressant.

Ausiello: I don't know if we know anything, but I know that she plays somebody from Juliet's past in the March 6 episode.

Ausiello: Yes, this person is an original 815er. And as far as major Lost deaths go, this one veers from tradition in one significant way. The Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread is now open and ready to accept your guesses.

Ausiello: I'm hearing production starts in March with original episodes kicking off in June. And I'm all about the sugar-free Red Bull these days. Get with the program, Maggie.

Ausiello: The status is Joss is pounding out a pilot script at this very moment. Barring any major hiccups, the show could be on the air as early as fall.

Ausiello: She's due in March, so, um, no. But Shark execs are turning this crisis into an opportunity and bringing in a big-name actress to replace Ryan during her absence. One option that was being bandied about pre-strike was bringing back previous guest star Sherry Stringfield to fill the void. Not sure if that's still in the cards.

Ausiello: OK, I'll stop — but only because you were such a class act about it. 

Ausiello: The psych ward at the UCLA Medical Center is where it's at these days. I'd start there.

Ausiello: Yep. Series creator Greg Garcia tells me that Milano will be back for "a bunch" of the final nine episodes.

Ausiello: I think it might! Edward James Olmos confirmed to SyFy Portal that production on the second half of Season 4 will commence at the end of March. (The first half debuts April 4.) "We will finish the story," promises Olmos, "and I think the fans will be satisfied."

Ausiello: They're about the same as they were at this point last year — coincidentally, right around the time I cobbled together this blind item.

Ausiello: On the plus side, I hear ABC is committed to trying to make the show work — hence the firing of three exec producers last week. On the downside, the sets have been dismantled, which is always an ominous sign. According to one Clubgoer, the trick now is finding a show-runner who gets the series and sees eye to eye with creator/novelist James Patterson. And per my source, "Patterson isn't on the same page with anyone."

Ausiello: Try this summer. Although nothing's official, I'm hearing the CW is strongly considering bringing the show back in July/August with an original run of episodes. And that's in addition to the five new episodes we're getting beginning April 21. For more on when (or if) your favorite shows are returning, see my Strike Recovery Chart.

Ausiello: I'll go if Lauren Graham goes. And I mean really go. No prerecorded messages.

Ausiello: Not great. NBC gaveTaylor Kitsch permission to take a major role in the forthcoming X-Men spin-off Wolverine, which essentially KO's any chance the show had of coming back this season.  

Ausiello: OK, here's the deal: In addition to the four pre-strike episodes, two new episodes will be produced, and then all six will air on consecutive Mondays beginning April 14.

Ausiello: Click here for what would seem to be a major spoiler about Ken Leung's Miles. And re: my b-day, I'm going to do something really out of character and ask that you guys refrain from sending me expensive gifts this year. Instead, please consider making a donation to the Humane Society. Were it not for the group's tireless undercover work, we never would have known of the unconscionable abuse going on at that slaughterhouse in California, prompting the largest beef recall in U.S. history. Do this for me and I promise I'll let you buy me expensive gifts next year. You have my word on that. 

OK, that's all folks. Here's this week's to-do list:

•Head over to the Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread to pick apart this week's column with your fellow Ausholes.
•Check out this week's Ausiello Report vodcast for scoop on Friday Night Lights, Desperate Housewives, Greek and more!
•The Strike Recovery Chart will help you adjust your post-strike viewing sked. Use it. 
•E-mail questions, hot tips and birthday wishes to ask_ausiello@tvguide.com.

See ya back here next week for more scoop, shiz and giggles!