Ask Ausiello

Ausiello: Oh, Christine. My poor, sweet, naive Christine. You should know by now that those promos only tell half the story. Take it from someone who has seen the entire episode — that's me! — Gizzie is dealt a setback this Thursday when George chooses… um… let's just say he makes an important decision that sets the stage for Episode 3, "Let the Truth Sting." Keep in mind, Shonda strongly hinted that Gizzie wouldn't start to come undone until news of their fling made its way around Seattle Grace. I believe what you witnessed in last week's opener was the snuggle before the s**tstorm. Another scoopbit: Derek also makes a decision at the end of the episode, and it's one that'll make all you Mer-Der fans swoon.

Ausiello: Before she can get a new love interest, she has to purge the old one from her system. And she'll do just that this Thursday when Mama Burke drops by Seattle Grace to administer a dose of tough love. And Cristina isn't the only person she goes all Dr. Phil on. As I teased in this week's Ausiello Report vodcast, Diahann Carroll takes Meredith to task for the "selfish" and "inappropriate" thing she did in last May's season finale. And don't even think of asking me for a hint. You know full well what thing I'm referring to.

Ausiello: OMG, I totally forgot to tell you the most important thing about Thursday's installment: It's fraktacular! If you were longing for the good ol' Grey's, I'm happy to tell you it makes a triumphant comeback tomorrow night. It had all the snap, crackle and pop of a Season 2 episode. And speaking of triumphs, Chandra Wilson gives a performance that has "2008 Emmy Reel" written all over it. I know it's early, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that supporting-actress trophy is hers to lose.

Ausiello: Here's a big one: The new season starts this Friday (9 pm/ET) and it's imperative that you convince everyone and their brother to watch. And if they don't do so willingly, don't be afraid to blackmail them with incriminating photos and/or video. Violence is also acceptable, but only as a last resort. This may seem a bit excessive, but, well, desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm also a little revved up because I just screened Episodes 2 and 3 and I can tell you in no uncertain terms that this show is as good, if not better, than it's ever been. I'm even coming around on that controversial dark twist involving Landry and Tyra, mostly because A) the producers seem committed to playing the repercussions of it, B) it has facilitated the long-awaited merger of Lyra (or is it Tandry?) and C) it has exposed Jesse Plemons and Adrianne Palicki for the master thespians I always knew they were. The chemistry between these two will Blow. You. Away. We're talking Ephram-Amy caliber chemistry, and you know I don't throw those words around lightly.

Ausiello: There are at least two major developments in the second episode, airing Oct. 12. One of 'em involves an old couple (they're breaking up!), and the other pertains to a new couple (they're doing the deed!). Also, Tim spots his onetime neighbor/honey (Brooke Langton in a blink-and-you-missed-her cameo) in the arms of another man. And not just any man.

Ausiello: Yeah… why… did you buy me some?

Ausiello: I want to love Chuck. Really, I do. But the first two setup-heavy episodes left me a little unsatisfied. The good news? I've seen next Monday's episode and now I love Chuck, too! It's the best episode by far, which is great news because it revolves around Chuck's first official mission and is essentially the template for the show. In addition to being funny, romantic and suspenseful, it features Zachary Levi doing the tango with the last person you'd ever expect (hint: GLAAD will be, um, glad).

Ausiello: The near future arrives Monday night sometime between 11 and 11:30 pm/ET in the Ausiello Report. Be there or be severely out of the loop.

Ausiello: All of your questions will be answered Monday night sometime between 11 and 11:30 pm/ET in the Ausiello Report.

Ausiello: That "darker" Lana that exec producer Al Gough's been teasing? Turns out Little Miss Lang's got a touch of embezzler in her. Also, Clark receives a veddy interesting gift at the end of the Oct. 25 episode. Here's a hint: It's neither black not white, but it is red all over.

Ausiello: Mac Taylor is about to get a blast from the past. I'm hearing the show is planning to introduce the childhood best friend of Gary Sinise's detective, whom he hasn't seen in 30 years. Producers are hoping to snag a "name" actor for the part.

Ausiello: Have you seen the fun little behind-the-scenes movies Adrian Pasdar's been making on the set of Heroes? Me neither, but my BFF Greg Grunberg insists they're "pretty great… especially the ones I'm in, if I do say so myself." (Is it any wonder where I got my modesty from?) All the vids can be found on YouTube by searching "BuckShotWon." Click on this link to watch the one Grunny calls "the best of all." In sort of related news, if you live in the Southern California area and are itching to stalk Greg Grunberg give up a few hours for a good cause, then by all means, click here.

Ausiello: There's a heartbreaking death in this Thursday's episode. Also, Peggy experiments with an unconventional weight-loss method, Pete steals something that belongs to Don, and, in a PG-13-rated twist, Betty discovers that her washing machine can do more than clean clothes.

Ausiello: I just wanted to write you personally to say thanks for your ridiculously sweet e-mail. It totally made my day. I'd run it in AA, but I think it would make me look a little too self -congratulatory. Yes, even my pomposity has its limits. LOL!

Ausiello: I'm not sure where you're getting your numbers from, but the data I'm looking at indicates that Damages hit a scary new low with last Tuesday's episode. We're talking less than a 1.0 in 18-49. And if you don't know what that means, trust me when I tell you, it's not good. That being said, an FX rep points out that a large chunk of Damages' audience doesn't watch the show live. As a result, its overall audience spikes significantly when DVR/TiVo playbacks are factored in. Bottom line: It's by no means a slam-dunk for renewal, which is a shame. Sure, the show can be frustratingly uneven at times, but it's engrossing more times than not. And few things give me more pleasure than watching Glenn Close do her thing week in and week out. Please resist the temptation to judge.

Ausiello: Yes, but I can't say anything until the deal is signed, sealed and delivered. Not surprisingly, we're haggling over money. I'm asking for Top of Show; they're offering a $20 lunch voucher plus free parking. My agent assures me that lowball offers are a common negotiation tactic, so I'm trying not to take it personally.

Ausiello: They're currently shooting Episode 4, and multiple sources confirm that it's a Kate-centric outing that features flashbacks and/or flash-forwards. Also, two new, potentially recurring characters are being cast as we speak — and both are described as "military types" in their late twenties who follow orders without question. 

Ausiello: Jim and Pam are finally happy, so you know what that means: It's time for Karen to put in an appearance! Rashida Jones is due back on the set next week to shoot scenes at Karen's new place of employ. Office producers are currently casting the role of her assistant, a twentysomething metrosexual who is friendly and has a good energy. Meanwhile, I hear new bossman Ryan is also in the market for an assistant — and she's smokin'. According to the casting notice, she's in her early twenties, businesslike, attractive and smart. In other words, Kelly's worst nightmare come true!

Ausiello: Actually, it was my partner who trained Mister Scooch, with a little help from the Litter Kwitter.

Ausiello: You know all that stuff I said about forcing your friends and family to watch Friday Night Lights on Friday? Ditto 30 Rock this Thursday. Just tell 'em Jerry Seinfeld's on it. That should do the trick. On the scoop front, Will Arnett returns next week, and as I previously told you, he's newly "straight" and engaged to Don Geiss' dowdy daughter — a ruse that was funny on paper but is even funnier on screen. View hostess Sherri Shepherd is also back as Tracy's wife Angie, much to the dismay of Kenneth, who's tasked with seducing her.

Ausiello: Well, it's a good thing I'm the one with the world-renowned column and not you.

Ausiello: I'm giving it six episodes to turn itself around. If Shonda can't win me over by then, I'm calling it quits. [Shonda, if you're reading this, that's five more chances than I plan to give Cashmere Mafia!]

Ausiello: Producers are adding another new female character that sources say could stick around on a recurring basis. She's described as an ex-mob wife in her early forties who entered the witness protection program with her son to escape the bad men. I have a strong hunch that this is for the mob-centric episode that William Friedkin is directing this November. I also have a strong hunch that this character may be coming on as a love interest for the newly single Grissom.

Ausiello: Watch my vodcast for scoop on Jaime's hot new boyfriend. Also, pick up this week's issue of TV Guide magazine — the one with Michelle Ryan on the cover — for Bionic spoilers galore, including prattle on tonight's death.

Ausiello: Right here in my Funk & Wagnalls, it says, and I quote:
Aus - hole (AWES-hohl) noun
1. any of the genus of pop-culture aficionados with a predilection for the Ask Ausiello and Ausiello Report TV Guide Internet blogs
2. Slang.
    a. an individual distinguished by exemplary good taste in entertainment blogging
    b. a spoiler whore
    c. a habitué of the TV Guide lobby, the Times Square Tasti D-Lite and/or any branch of the Stalker Alert chain of nightclubs

Ausiello: Are you sure you tried bribing? 'Cause that tends to be a fairly foolproof tactic with me. Anyway, step off the ledge, Keisha. Your Scoop Charming has at long last arrived. Reliable sources tell me Greek's Scott Michael Foster will guest-star in the Oct. 22 episode of The Game as Brandon, Kelly's fresh-out-of-rehab kid brother who needs a place to crash. The following week, in an attempt to make Derwin jealous, Melanie ends up in bed with Malik.

Ausiello: Told ya so, told ya so, told, told, told, told, told ya so.

Ausiello: According to Bill Lawrence, "unless Scrubs miraculously becomes a giant hit in its seventh year," this season is the last. "It's the never-say-never cliché," he adds, "but Zach's only working this year, and I'm trying to get other things going so I'm not planning [to be back]. I told the whole cast that this is it." Further proof that the end is indeed near: On Saturday, Nov. 10, New York's Paley Center in conjunction with the New York Comedy Festival is presenting Scrubs: The Farewell Tour. The 90-minute event features a screening of an all-new episode followed by a panel discussion and Q&A hosted by — drumroll, please — me, me, me, me, me, me! Needless to say, if you're in the New York area on Nov. 10, you must come — if for no other reason than to see me, me, me, me, me, me! Click here for all the details and here to purchase tix!

Ausiello: Not really, but it's sweet of you to offer.

Ausiello: What's with all the histrionics this week? Ever hear of a little story called "The Spoiler Whore Who Cried Wolf"? I suggest you read it. But first, read this: My Ghost mole whispers that Orlando Jones has been cast as a popular medium who comes to Grandview this November and ends up butting heads with Melinda. She suspects he's a fraud and is upset that he's giving a local woman potentially false hope by agreeing to use his "gifts" to help find her missing daughter.  

OK, that's all for this week. The Ask Ausiello Discussion Thread is now open for business. See ya back here next Wednesday!